Life is full of ups and downs, but in between, we have a lot of little victories that go unnoticed. Take a moment to celebrate these small wins. To find long-term happiness, you need to retrain your brain from a negative mindset to a positive mindset. Work takes up a lot of our day, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we do. It’s important to pursue activities and interests beyond our job. Allah says:
قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
“If you should love Allah, then follow me. Allah will love you and forgive you your sins, for Allah is forgiving and merciful.” (Surah Al Imran 3:31)
We look for happiness everywhere, and we miss the very blessings we have in life right now. If you don’t recognize the blessing you have already you can never be happy. But if you recognize it, you can become happy right now. Happiness, love, friendship, and community goes hand in hand. As humans, we have a fundamental need to interact and connect with others. Allah says:
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ سَيَجْعَلُ لَهُمُ الرَّحْمَٰنُ وُدًّا
“Verily, for those who have believed and done righteous deeds, the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.” (Surah Maryam 19:96)
The injunctions and regulations of Islam reinforce the happiness that comes from knowing God and they help to guarantee humankind’s happiness during life in this world. However, Islam also emphasizes that the life of this world is nothing more than a means of attaining the Hereafter. If you desire peace, tranquillity, and comfort, you can find it all in the remembrance of God.
Steps for self-love as a Muslim and how it helps find your soulmate:
- Love yourself helps people around and make their life easier
- Love yourself progress toward achieving personal goals
- Love yourself compels many people to seek leadership
- Love yourself is to personal history and life status
- Lovely yourself people tend to have good families
- Love yourself is derived from intentional activity
- Love yourself is due to our demographic factors
- Love yourself is a practice that we choose to do
- Love yourself is the key to satisfying your soul
- Love yourself means choosing the right path
- Pray with love and affection for Allah
- See the best & be grateful
- Self-love is human nature
- Pray & stick to the sunnah
- Know yourself & the world more
- Forgive yourself & stop self-harming
- Do what you love & utilize your skills
- We will appear to be beautiful to others
- Our mind needs to know that we need Allah
- Make progress toward achieving personal goals
- Stand up for what’s right & safeguard your heart
- Seeking knowledge is essential for every Muslim
- Nourish your mind with positive information daily
- Find a reason to rejoice every single day of our life
- Choose friends that are spiritual, positive proactive
- Use positive affirmations & believe that you’re worthy
- We need to polish the brain and increases knowledge
- “Men of knowledge” are praised throughout the Quran
- We need to strengthen our connection with our Creator
- Our behaviour should only increase in love and positivity
Gratefulness will help us count our blessings, focus on what is beneficial in our lives and allow our minds to focus on positivity. Being grateful is also about showing love and appreciation to those that mean something to you in your life. When you begin to count your blessings, remind yourself that if God has gotten you this far, he is sure to have something bigger and better coming your way. Allah says:
وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلَّا عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ
“And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:45)
Closely related to self-esteem and self-concept, self-love is how much we love ourselves. A person with a positive self-concept and high self-esteem are going to love one’s own self to a much greater extent than a person with low self-esteem. It is imperative to learn how to love ourselves. In order to love others, we need to love ourselves first.
Allah Almighty says in The Holy Quran:
- “Be not sad, Allah is with us.”(Quran, 9:40)
- “Verily with hardship, there is a relief.” (Quran, 94:6)
- “(Other) faces that Day will be joyful.” (Surah Al-Ghashiyya, 8)
- “Certainly We have created man to be in toil.” (Surah Al-Balad: 90)
- “We have certainly created man in the best of stature.” (Quran 95:4)
- “So hold that which I have given you and be of the grateful.” (Quran, 7:144)
- “Is it not with the remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest?” (Quran, 13:28)
- “And whoever is grateful, he is only grateful for the benefit of his own self.” (Luqman 31:12)
- “…And they rejoice in the worldly life, while the worldly life is not, compared to the Hereafter, except enjoyment.” (Quran 13:26)
Do you treat yourself like you are your own best friend? Would you ever show your best friend disrespect or unkindness?
- Avoid perfectionism: Know that as humans we all make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. So don’t feel demotivated and depressed every time you make a mistake.
- Don’t give up: We all learn from our mistakes, and success also comes after failure. So instead of being a perfectionist, try to gradually improve and carry on at your own pace.
- Get rid of the negative company: Scold you all the time about your flaws, get away from them. Keep your distance. Don’t become a victim of peer pressure, conforming to all that they say and do, even if your heart yearns otherwise. Remember that your own self, and your mental health, is much more important.
- Appreciate the blessings Allah has given you: If you are feeling down in the dumps and feel like you have nothing, and need a push to boost your self-esteem; then just try to count the number of blessings Allah has bestowed upon you. Think of the people who haven’t got these simple yet precious blessings too.
- Utilize your skills: There are days that you feel like you are of no value to this world. That you are useless and know nothing. That’s false. Completely false. Bring peace to yourself and make you love yourself more, as you finally begin to understand that you can do something, that you are actually great at something.
- Give compliments to yourself: As humans, we all yearn for compliments and praise from others. If you don’t get it, then you feel degraded and your motivation just disappears. Stand in front of the mirror and give yourself a big smile. Then treat yourself to something that you really love.
- Seek the Pleasure of Allah: Nothing can make us happier than seeking the pleasure of Allāh. Allāh tells us in Qurʾān about what is the greatest happiness, calling it a ‘supreme success’ and about the people who deserve this supreme success.
- Be Thankful: The more Thankful we are to Allāh, the more He will shower His bounties upon us.
- Satisfy Your Soul: Work on activities that result in internal happiness that satisfy and bring a smile to the heart, not merely a smile on the face by doing meaningful work
- Avoid Worldly Comparisons: Do not look at the celebrities, rich or affluent people above you in worldly matters. The lives of such individuals are not ‘ideal’ in the eyes of Allāh.
- Expect Only From Allah: Any sustenance, provision, and reward we expect are from Allah alone.
وَأَحْسِنُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“Be good. Verily, Allah loves those who are good.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:195)
Give Shukr, be grateful and thank those that mean something to you in your life. Firstly, the blessing of life is beautifully expressed through both our difficult times and at times of ease. Smile often, and do not degrade yourself. Instead of giving up on tasks without even trying, start with the motive of doing and completing it, no matter how hard it might be or how long it might take. You know you can do it. You know you can love yourself. Allah says:
وَأَنفِقُوا فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلَا تُلْقُوا بِأَيْدِيكُمْ إِلَى التَّهْلُكَةِ وَأَحْسِنُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“…and do not throw with your hands into destruction [by refraining]. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good…” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:195 )
Happiness is the soft joy that causes our lips, faces, and hearts to smile. It is determined by faith in God and obedience to Him. Remember you are here for a reason and you need to fulfil that obligation and return to Him. Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. May Allah (SWT) bless us with the ability to love ourselves and enjoin the good and forbid evil. Ameen.