Humans have always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions. A good part of our lives is spent in interaction with others. Friendship and companionship are important in Islam. A good friend is one who accepts your shortcomings, but at the same time guides and supports you. A good friend is one who accommodates your faults but corrects them where possible. A good friend is one who will love and forgive you for the sake of God. Without loved ones, life lacks meaning. It’s in our nature to get attached to those around us, and this attachment begins with our family. Allah says:
وَاصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطًا
“And be patient, yourself, with those who call their Lord in the morning and the evening desiring His Face. And (let) not pass beyond your eyes over them, desiring adornment (of) the life (of) the world, and (do) not obey whom We have made heedless his heart of Our remembrance, and follows his desires and is his affair (in) excess.” (Sura Al-Kahf 18:28)
A best friend is someone who always reminds you of Allah. He can control and stop us whenever we are going in the wrong direction. What we can understand from this is that it is easy to be influenced by the people around us. It is easy to take on their mannerisms and qualities without even being aware of it. If these are good qualities then it is a good thing but what if the people you consider friends have pushed you away from the remembrance of God? This could be a disaster, and God warns about it in the Quran. Allah says:
وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا
“And (the) Day will bite the wrongdoer [on] his hands, he will say, “O I wish! I had taken with the Messenger a way.” (Surah Al-Furqan 25:27)
Islam has many rules that are meant to make the life of a Muslim in order, including in finding friends. Allah SWT will never let you live through the hardship in the world alone so that He prepared for you the best of friends you could ever have. Allah SWT has set His own rules and ways how to choose good friends in Islam. Good friends should keep you in remembrance of Allah SWT. Not all the people we know are good friends to us, so we must know how to find one.
Here are some ways how to choose good friends in Islam:
- A friend who gives his helping hand
- A friend who will always support us
- Friends who remind you of Allah
- Worshipping Allah obediently
- A friend who is not envy
- Not tend to commit sins
- A knowledgeable friend
- A supporting friend
- A knowledgeable friend
- Holds the same aqeeda
- Friends with good moral
- A friend with a positive mind
- A friend who will always remind us
- A friend who gives syafa’at (intercede or help)
- A friend Who does not like to commit immorality
Along with greed, envy becomes one of the most dangerous heart diseases one should avoid. A friend who is full of hasad will not be happy to see us succeed. Thus, he will never give you his sincere help nor support you in achieving your dreams. We will always need support from our loved ones while we are living in this world. Without support, we may never be able to survive. The best friend one can have is the friend that obediently worshipping Allah, and whose life is spent only to please Allah SWT. Allah says:
إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ
“Except those who believe and do righteous deeds and enjoin (each other) to the truth and enjoin (each other) to [the] patience.” (Surah Al-Asr:103:3)
Criteria for Good Friends in Islam
Not only it’s important to know the ways how to choose good friends in Islam, but we should know who called good friends in Islam. A good friend should at least possess these five things as listed below:
“A man is considered by God to be of the religion of his intimate friend (Khalil) so let each of you consider whom he has taken for an intimate friend.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
1. Intelligent: One quality to look for in a friend is his intelligence. He should not be smart, but intelligent means he cares for his surroundings and is not apathetic to others.
2. Have a Good Character: Always look for the best in a friend. Never associate yourself with someone who has bad traits on him. Such as the one who fails to content himself, tend to explode when he is angry and exaggerate the happiness when he’s excited. Be in the company of someone who is giving his helping hand to you in any situation.
3. Righteous Servants for Allah SWT: Stay away from a friend who tends to commit major sins and refuses to repent from them. That kind of friend will only make you more and further away from Allah, which is not good for your Imaan.
4. Not a Greedy Person: One of the most dangerous poisons for a human’s heart is greed. Greed makes one never feel thankful to Allah SWT. He always tries to imitate others and lost his true identity while doing so. If you associate yourself with a greedy company, it will increase your greed as well.
5. Remind You of Allah: The best of friends are those who always remind you of Allah SWT and the Day of Judgement. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Allah will ask on the Day of Judgement: ‘Where are those who loved each other for the sake of my glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.” – Muslim.
A friend with a good moral will positively affect us. Choose a friend who never hesitates but helps you with everything you need. You know you can always rely on him. Choose a knowledgeable friend and want to share his knowledge with you, both in science and religion. However, don’t choose a friend who becomes stingy and arrogant because of the intelligence he has.
“Do not be in the company of an ignorant friend; beware of him & let him beware of you.” (Ali ibn Abi Thalib)
A Muslim should choose a fellow Muslim and keep him for the company. It’s for the sake of himself since we can remind each other every time. However, we must treat non-Muslim friends with good manners. But you must be careful not to have fights or disputes regarding religion. Critics are good if the intention is good. But if one likes to criticise others just to bring them down, then he should never be kept a friend. As useless critics may cause harm to others, it’s become forbidden in Islam to befriend someone like that. Allah says:
وَاصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطًا
“And be patient, yourself, with those who call their Lord in the morning and the evening desiring His Face. And (let) not pass beyond your eyes over them, desiring adornment (of) the life (of) the world, and (do) not obey whom We have made heedless his heart of Our remembrance, and follows his desires and is his affair (in) excess.” (Surah Al Kahf 18:28)
Friendship is such a beautiful gift. A friend in need is a friend indeed after all. A friend is a very important person in one’s life. Those who have worthy friends are never lonely and friendless in the world since in joy and sorrow, their true friends help and support them. Naturally, a human being feels happy at the companionship of friends and is lonely when they feel they have no worthy companions. We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions who will take us away from His wrath and lead us to His pleasure and Paradise.
