Humility is the key to becoming more coachable

The Concept of a Bad Habit

Habits are things we do automatically and repeatedly, often without conscious awareness. Some are useful, others are not. Habits can be good, bad, physical and emotional. Even though they are not consciously done, they can be consciously formed and can be consciously deconstructed. Our habits are or what you would like them to be, and approaching that process broadly. Be motivated by those around you.  Allah says:

وَمَثَلُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا كَمَثَلِ الَّذِي يَنْعِقُ بِمَا لَا يَسْمَعُ إِلَّا دُعَاءً وَنِدَاءً صُمٌّ بُكْمٌ عُمْيٌ فَهُمْ لَا يَعْقِلُونَ

“The parable of those who reject Faith is as if one were to shout Like a goat-herd, to things that listen to nothing but calls and cries: Deaf, dumb, and blind, they are void of wisdom.” (Surah Al-Baqara, 2:171)

What we repeatedly do in our daily life routine is known as habits. Our daily lives are usually a set of habits that we do throughout the day. We have all kinds of habits some are good and some are bad. We don’t realize earlier about bad habits when we realized about them it’s been too late to leave them. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW) warned us against bad habits and asked us to do good deeds if we want to get rid of bad habits.  Allah says:

فَاصْبِرْ إِنَّ وَعْدَ اللَّهِ حَقٌّ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لِذَنبِكَ وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ بِالْعَشِيِّ وَالْإِبْكَارِ

“Patiently, then, persevere – for the Promise of Allah is true, and ask forgiveness for your faults, and celebrate the praises of your Lord in the evening and the morning.” (Surah Ghafir 40:55 )

The relief from bad habits is to gain religious knowledge and to practice Islam. So, if we spend our days serving our religion, gain knowledge about it and try to inform others about the beauty of our religion, we will not have time for bad habits. Few things are more difficult than getting rid of bad habits since they are part of our daily routine and personality. It takes days of patience and practice to break old habits because it’s not going to end quickly.

How to Break a Bad Habit and Replace It With a Good One?

  1. Bad habits never help yourself in staying disciplined
  2. Bad habits never go slowly and make tiny changes
  3. Bad habits never justify the action or habit you do
  4. Bad habits never visualize yourself succeeding
  5. Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent goals
  6. Bad habits never judge yourself or feel guilty
  7. Bad habits lead to dishonest with yourself 
  8. Bad habits do not focus on the real world
  9. Bad habits keep away to family members
  10. Bad habits waste your time and energy
  11. Bad habits have no charm in your life
  12. Bad habits get away closer to Allah
  13. Bad habits have no specific goal
  14. Bad habits jeopardize your health
  15. Bad habits have  stress and boredom
  16. Bad habits never are patient with yourself
  17. Bad habits never understand what triggers
  18. Bad habits are never changing the mindset
  19. Bad habits never find a better reason to quit
  20. Bad habits address certain needs in your life
  21. Bad habits never fine yourself for each offence
  22. Bad habits pain others and might ditch it for good
  23. Bad habits never cut out as many triggers as possible
  24. Bad habits never letting yourself be proud of every day
  25. Bad habits never build a solution to eventually overcoming 

Remember Allah loves those who commit mistakes and repent. Plan to change your bad habits. It should include your reasons for changing; obstacles you will face and also support which will help to achieve your planning to get rid of bad habits. Replace a bad habit with the good one. It’s essential to replace the lost natural needs, such as the need to socialize and to be entertained with something healthy. Allah says:

وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ

“And not (are) equal the good (deed) and the evil (deed). Repel by (that) which [it] (is) better; then behold! One who, between you and between him, (was) enmity, (will become) as if he (was) a friend intimate.” (SurahFussilat 41:34)

Think about yourself as a different person. Tell yourself that you can do better simply motivate yourself which will be going to help you in this manner. Change the habits in a way the other things require time, effort and a lot of willpower, so it’s wise to make the change slowly rather than in one go.

Remember some simple steps mentioned below which will help you to change the bad habits successfully:

  • Encourage to stay committed and do more
  • Enlist the help and support of your friends
  • Encourage to stay committed and do more
  • Start duaa with is to seek help from Allah
  • Reinforce yourself each step of the way
  • Don’t take on too many things at once
  • Let someone know what you’re doing
  •  Involve yourself with acts of worship
  • Approach things that come up later
  • More opportunity you give yourself 
  • Seek support from others 
  • Be patient with yourself
  • Seek refuge from Shaytaan
  • Do some kind of exercising
  • Reward yourself for success
  • Build the habit up of reading
  • Invest in the long-term benefits
  • Try to understand why you do it
  • Build accountability in a good way
  • Hold you back and be sure to reach
  • Handle and try your best to figure out
  • Strengthen your relationship with Him
  • Seek help for more serious addictions
  • Avoid bad company, and endeavour to stay
  • Move beyond discussion hoping to achieve
  • Overcome the addiction in a healthy manner

Worship is the most important factor that always strengthens an individual to resist his soul and power that weakens the soul. Do Dua at the beginning, all along and till the end – asking Allah for help. Remind yourself of the death and hereafter which will surely be going to help you to get rid of bad habits. Allah says:

وَاذْكُرْنَ مَا يُتْلَىٰ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ مِنْ آيَاتِ اللَّهِ وَالْحِكْمَةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ لَطِيفًا خَبِيرًا

“And remember what is recited in your houses of (the) Verses (of) Allah and the wisdom. Indeed, Allah is All-Subtle, All-Aware.” (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:34)

Seeking pleasure will enable you to replace bad habits with good habits. Maybe there is a sport that you enjoy, a course you’d like to study, for example. Such things can keep you busy in meaningful activities that leave you with less time for bad habits. They can also provide you with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that can provide the same kind of buzz that perhaps your current bad habits do. Allah says:

وَلَمَّا جَاءَتْ رُسُلُنَا لُوطًا سِيءَ بِهِمْ وَضَاقَ بِهِمْ ذَرْعًا وَقَالَ هَٰذَا يَوْمٌ عَصِيبٌ

“And when came to Our (to) Lut, he was distressed for them and felt straitened for them (and) uneasy, and said, “This (is) a day distressful.” (Surah Hud 11:77)

Don’t allow yourself to be controlled by your lower desires. You are the one in control, no one else. Actively making du’aa’ and seeking Allah’s guidance will assist you in overcoming these difficulties.

If you are breaking a bad habit, a few things to keep in mind, Allah Almighty says:

  • “Show us the straight way.” (Surah Al-Fatiha, 5)
  • “The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace.” (Surah Al-Fatiha, 6)
  • “When the wild beasts are herded together in the human habitations.” (Surah At-Takwir, 5)
  • “O Children of Israel! call to mind the special favour which I bestowed upon you, and that I preferred you to all others (for My Message).” (Surah Al-Baqara, 122)
  • “Surely Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their condition.” (Quran 13:11)
  • “Allah would make the burden light for you, for the human being was created weak.” (Quran 4:28)
  • “Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have the strength to bear.” (Quran 2:286)

Shaytaan loves to see people go astray from the path. He knows that addictive behaviours do just that; destroying people’s lives and distracting them from the remembrance of Allah. By listening to his whispers and engaging in such behaviours you are letting him win. The way forward with this is to see refuge with Allah from Shaytaan. It is particularly effective to try and remember Allah in all that you do.  Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّمَا الْخَمْرُ وَالْمَيْسِرُ وَالْأَنصَابُ وَالْأَزْلَامُ رِجْسٌ مِّنْ عَمَلِ الشَّيْطَانِ فَاجْتَنِبُوهُ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

“O you who have believed, indeed, intoxicants, gambling, [sacrificing on] stone alters [to other than Allah], and divining arrows are but defilement from the work of Satan, so avoid it that you may be successful.” (Surah Al-Ma`idah 5:90)

First of all, identify your bad habits. Two steps are required to identify bad habits. The first one is to compare your life with our value system that is whether you are living your life according to the teachings of Islam that is according to the Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). The second one is to compare your life with the role model. Allah says:

اتْلُ مَا أُوحِيَ إِلَيْكَ مِنَ الْكِتَابِ وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ

“Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.” (Surah Al-`Ankabut 29:45 )

However, you also have to take an active role yourself in ensuring that you do not continue to fall victim to these addictions by taking control of your actions too. May Allah assist us and guide us on the straight path. May He forgive our wrongdoings and reward us for seeking to do better for His sake. Allah says:

وَإِذَا جَاءَكَ الَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِآيَاتِنَا فَقُلْ سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ كَتَبَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَىٰ نَفْسِهِ الرَّحْمَةَ أَنَّهُ مَنْ عَمِلَ مِنكُمْ سُوءًا بِجَهَالَةٍ ثُمَّ تَابَ مِن بَعْدِهِ وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَنَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

“And when those come to you who believe in Our verses, say, “Peace be upon you. Your Lord has decreed upon Himself mercy: that any of you who does wrong out of ignorance and then repents after that and corrects himself – indeed, He is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Surah Al-An`am 6:54)

Look to your family for support. Even if you don’t want to discuss your problems with them directly, it can be useful to look at them and realize that you want better for them. This can only be achieved by being strong in overcoming your bad habits. It is this closeness to Him that will help you to nurture a hatred towards the things He hates, and a love for the things He loves, therefore, making it easier to abandon your bad habits. Just start to change your habits slowly with patience. May Allah help us in this matter! Ameen