Control your tantrums

Good Relations in Islam

Islam presents itself as the only way of life for people to achieve salvation in the afterlife, it also teaches its followers to live up to high standards in conduct with other human beings, regardless of their religion, ethnicity, race, language or culture. Life is like a rotating wheel. Sometimes we are on the upside and other times we are going down. We need others to make living when we’re not at the top. It’s our relatives who will help us, giving us food, clothing, and shelter, as well as other things we need. Allah says:

وَلَمَّا فَتَحُوا مَتَاعَهُمْ وَجَدُوا بِضَاعَتَهُمْ رُدَّتْ إِلَيْهِمْ قَالُوا يَا أَبَانَا مَا نَبْغِي هَٰذِهِ بِضَاعَتُنَا رُدَّتْ إِلَيْنَا وَنَمِيرُ أَهْلَنَا وَنَحْفَظُ أَخَانَا وَنَزْدَادُ كَيْلَ بَعِيرٍ ذَٰلِكَ كَيْلٌ يَسِيرٌ

“And when they opened their baggage, they found their merchandise returned to them. They said, “O our father! What (could) we desire? This (is) our merchandise returned to us. And we will get provision (for) our family, and we will protect our brother and get an increased measure (of) a camel’s (load). That (is) a measurement easy.” (Surah Yusuf, 12:65)

Human is social being who will never be able to live alone. Ever since they were born, they live within the society, starting from the smallest form: family. As they grow older their circle also gets bigger. It is the reason why the importance of relationships in Islam. Building relationships are important, not only between human but also human to Allah SWT. It is so important that the relations between humans. Allah says:

ضُرِبَتْ عَلَيْهِمُ الذِّلَّةُ أَيْنَ مَا ثُقِفُوا إِلَّا بِحَبْلٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَحَبْلٍ مِّنَ النَّاسِ وَبَاءُوا بِغَضَبٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَضُرِبَتْ عَلَيْهِمُ الْمَسْكَنَةُ ذَٰلِكَ بِأَنَّهُمْ كَانُوا يَكْفُرُونَ بِآيَاتِ اللَّهِ وَيَقْتُلُونَ الْأَنبِيَاءَ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ ذَٰلِكَ بِمَا عَصَوا وَّكَانُوا يَعْتَدُونَ

“Struck on them the humiliation wherever they are found except with a rope from Allah and a rope from the people. And they incurred wrath from Allah and struck on them the poverty. That (is) because they used to disbelieve in (the) Verses (of) Allah and they killed the Prophets without right. That (is) because they disobeyed and they used to transgress.” (Surah Al Imran 3:112)

We never know what kind of help we are going to need later in life. So we have to be kind and create a relationship here and there with various kinds of people. Later those people will be useful for us since we never know what the future will bring. Don’t underestimate a person just because he is poor at the moment. When he become successful someday, he will surely help us. People need a connection to gain a successful life, especially when we run a business.

Here are some of the importance of relationships in Islam:

  1. Family of couples will help the union stronger
  2. Family being generous with what you have
  3. Family being open-minded to new things
  4. Family follow the guidelines of religion
  5. Family is proud of your achievements
  6. Family taking personal responsibility
  7. Family always doing your best work
  8. Family treating everyone equally
  9. Family working hard for success
  10. Family communicating truthfully
  11. Family being honest with others
  12. Don’t mind the strangers
  13. Growing love for each other
  14. Building a successful career
  15. A good connection will be useful
  16. Allah help us to pursue our goals
  17. The concern of the rights of our children
  18. Marriage and family complete our prayers
  19. Be forgiving to each member of the family 
  20. Islam doesn’t recommend sharing a house

A problem-free life is a life everyone wished for. It is called a peaceful life. To gain it we will need help from other people. For example, when we have some financial difficulties, our wealthy relatives come to help. Life problems are not limited only to financial problems so every kind of person will be very useful in the future. Allah says:

قَالُوا أَإِنَّكَ لَأَنتَ يُوسُفُ قَالَ أَنَا يُوسُفُ وَهَٰذَا أَخِي قَدْ مَنَّ اللَّهُ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّهُ مَن يَتَّقِ وَيَصْبِرْ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

They said, “Are you indeed, surely you, Yusuf?” He said, “I am Yusuf and this (is), my brother. Indeed, Allah has been gracious to us. Indeed, he who consciously reveres Allah and (is) patient, then indeed, Allah (does) not let go waste (the) reward (of) the good-doers.” (Surah Yusuf 12:90)

FAMILY LIFE

Family relationships in Islam are just one of the great blessings of Allah Almighty on us. Which a Muslim is encouraged to enjoy freely. Because Family is considered a cornerstone of the whole society in Islam. Being a complete social institution, when we say, Family. by it, we mean all relations, husband, wife, children, and parents. The family unit is regarded as the cornerstone of a healthy and balanced society. The different plane of emphasis from that found in individual-centred cultures is for many remarkable.

  • The family forms the basic building block of Muslim society. Despite the many pressures it faces, the family institution remains strong. The future of the extended family, however, is under considerable threat
  • Female genital mutilation is common among Muslim and non-Muslim women of African origin
  • Marriage forms the sole basis for sexual relations and parenthood
  • Islamic law generally discourages the use of contraception, extolling the virtues of large families, but there seems to be a trend toward smaller families
  • Some social problems such as sexually transmitted infections, cervical cancer, and unwanted pregnancies may be mitigated by developing vehicles to strengthen the traditional Muslim family structure. Allah says:

قَالَ لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ

He said, “No blame upon you today. Allah will forgive you, and He (is) the Most Merciful (of) those who show.” (Surah Yusuf 12:92)

Remember virtues are good habits developed out of love for others. When you begin growing in one virtue, you’ll end up growing in many of them simultaneously!

  1. Orderliness: Achieving our goals by doing the things we should do, when we should do them, and how we should do them.
  2. Generosity: The attitude and habits we demonstrate when we give towards the needs of others willingly and cheerfully.
  3. Fortitude: The courage to stand up for what is right, even in the face of pressure.
  4. Prudence: The virtue that allows us to determine what’s right and what’s wrong and then act accordingly. Prudence could also be called wisdom.
  5. Justice: Giving to others what they are rightly due.
  6. Temperance: Controlling our desires and wants to achieve a greater good and meet our life goals.
  7. Assertiveness: Achieving goals by setting appropriate boundaries, asking for help when we need it, and being confident and positive about our abilities.
  8. Purposefulness: Having a vision, clear focus, and concentration on goals.
  9. Modesty: Purity of heart in action, especially in regards to dress and speech.
  10. Peacefulness: Having a sense of inner calm, no matter what is happening around you.
  11. Service: Being helpful to the entire family of man. This can also be called beneficence, which means helping the greater community for the common good.
  12. Clemency: Handling disobedience, poor choices, and disputes reasonably and consistently by not being too strict, but not being too lax either.
  13. Helpfulness: Being of service to others; doing thoughtful things that make a difference in their lives.
  14. Kindness: Expressing genuine concern about the well-being of others; anticipating their needs.
  15. Good Counsel: Seeking advice from a reasonable person.
  16. Responsibility: Fulfilling one’s just duties; accepting the consequences of one’s words and actions, intentional and unintentional.
  17. Honesty: Sincerity, openness, and truthfulness in one’s words and actions.
  18. Respect: Recognizing the worth and dignity of every single human person.
  19. Tolerance: Allowing other people to have their opinions about non-essential things and accepting the preferences and ideas that are different from you without compromising your own beliefs.
  20. Perseverance: Taking the steps necessary to carry out objectives despite difficulties.
  21. Good judgment: Thinking rightly about a decision, sound decision.
  22. Gratitude: Having a thankful disposition of mind and heart.
  23. Humility: Having an awareness that all one’s gifts come from God and appreciation for the gifts of others.
  24. Obedience: Assenting to rightful authority without hesitation or resistance.
  25. Patience: Remaining calm and not becoming annoyed when dealing with problems or difficult people.
  26. Command: directly acting upon a sound decision.
  27. Truthfulness: Acting in a way that inspires confidence and trust; being reliable.
  28. Moderation: Attention to balance in one’s life.
  29. Loyalty: Accepting the bond implicit in relationships and defending the virtues upheld by Church, family, and country.
  30. Courtesy: Treating other people with respect, recognizing that all are made in God’s image and likeness.
  31. Affability: Being easy to approach and easy to talk to; friendly.
  32. Sincerity: Trustfulness in words and actions; honesty and enthusiasm toward others.
  33. Prayerfulness: Being still, listening, and being willing to talk to God as a friend.
  34. Magnanimity: Seeking with confidence to do great things in God; literally “having a large soul.”
  35. Docility: Willingness to be taught.
  36. Industriousness: Diligence, especially in work that leads to natural and supernatural maturity.
  37. Foresight: Consideration of the consequences of one’s action; thinking ahead.
  38. Patriotism: Paying due honour and respect to one’s country, with a willingness to serve.
  39. Meekness: Having a serenity of spirit while focusing on the needs of others.
  40. Circumspection/Tact: Careful consideration of circumstances and consequences.

A relation is a key to success, not only for businessmen but also for life in general. We need others to support our lives. Just like how a business won’t be progressing well if the owner doesn’t have a wide range of a relation, our lives will also be stuck without others.

Allah Almighty says in The Holy Quran:

  • “And give me a Minister from my family.” (Surah Ta-Ha, 29)
  • “So We delivered him and his family,- all.” (Surah Ash-Shura, 170)
  • “Then did he stalk to his family in full conceit!” (Surah Al-Qiyama, 33)
  • “Do not let your hatred of a people incite you to aggression.” (Quran 5:2)
  • “O, my Lord! deliver me and my family from such things as they do!” (Surah Ash-Shura, 169)
  • “He shall, therefore, prevent himself and his family from the disastrous consequences of choosing a wrong path.” (Quran, 66:6)
  • “O, my Lord! surely my son is of my family! and Thy promise is true, and Thou art the justest of Judges!” (Surah Hud, 45)
  • ”Relate in the Book (the story of) Mary, when she withdrew from her family to a place in the East.” (Surah Maryam, 16)
  • “But we saved him and his family, except his wife: she was of those who lagged.” (Surah Al-Araf, 83)
  • “Embark therein, of each kind two, male and female, and your family – except those against whom the word has already gone forth,- and the Believers.” but only a few believed with him.” (Surah Hud, 40)
  • ”But we saved him and his family, except his wife: she was of those who lagged.” (Surah Al-Araf, 83)
Islam wants its adherents to be just to every human being:

Muslims are asked to be truthful, trustworthy, humble, kind and generous. They are asked to repel evil with goodness, control their anger, and be forgiving. It’s always nice to exchange experiences with others, and that’s the importance of relationships in Islam. Through other people, we can increase our knowledge, learn about something we never know before and it’s highly beneficial.

Some of the sayings of the Prophet are:

  • “To remove something harmful from the road is charity.”
  • “Charity erases sins just as water extinguishes the fire.”
  • “He is not a perfect believer, who goes to bed full and knows that his neighbour is hungry.”
  • “Show mercy to people on earth so that Allâh will have mercy on you in heaven.”

In life, we all have goals and dreams to be pursued. We can’t reach it alone as we need help from others. The ways to our goals could be so much easier if we have a good relationship with others. The more we know other people, the more help we can receive. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ لِلَّهِ شُهَدَاءَ بِالْقِسْطِ وَلَا يَجْرِمَنَّكُمْ شَنَآنُ قَوْمٍ عَلَىٰ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا اعْدِلُوا هُوَ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ

“O you who believe! Be steadfast for Allah (as) witnesses in justice, and let not prevent you hatred (of) a people [upon] that not you do justice. Be just it (is) nearer to [the] piety. And consciously revere Allah; indeed, Allah (is) All-Aware of what you do.” (Surah Al-Ma`idah 5:8)

Having a good relationship is highly beneficial. It will affect our success in our career too. If we treat others with kindness, they will return our kindness as well. Especially when we are kind to our partner in work, our career will indeed be more successful. Meeting with many people, creating a special connection and relation with them makes us grow fond of each other. From that, we learn how to love and cherish others. Surely it will make us happier and our lives will be more peaceful and free of problems.