Comparing yourself to others can be a serious downward spiral for a lot of people. Some people say that it actually motivates them, but for many, if not most it becomes a cause for feeling inadequate. When you look up at people it can feel like you are less than them, or you’re not as successful in life as they are. It can feel like this and worse if you’ve been in a state of discontentment in your own life. Use comparison as motivation to improve what actually matters. Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ لِلَّهِ شُهَدَاءَ بِالْقِسْطِ ۖ وَلَا يَجْرِمَنَّكُمْ شَنَآنُ قَوْمٍ عَلَىٰ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا ۚ اعْدِلُوا هُوَ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ
“O you who have faith, stand firm for Allah as witnesses in equity (qist), and let not the hatred of people cause you to not be just. Be just (‘idlu), for that is nearer to righteousness.” (Surah Al-Ma’idah 5:8)
Stop comparing yourself to others is to realize that comparisons are often negative and that most of the time they do not help. If comparing is how you evaluate your worth, you will always be losing. In this game of life you will never reach a point where you are better than others in every way and why would you want to be. Be grateful for the good in your life, and resist any lies that shout “It’s not enough”. Allah says:
وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ فِي نَفْسِكَ تَضَرُّعًا وَخِيفَةً وَدُونَ الْجَهْرِ مِنَ الْقَوْلِ بِالْغُدُوِّ وَالْآصَالِ وَلَا تَكُن مِّنَ الْغَافِلِينَ
“Remember your Lord in yourselves with humility and in private without announcing it in the mornings and evenings, and do not be among the heedless.” (Surah Al-A’raf 7:205)
Give Shukr, be grateful and thank those that mean something to you in your life. Firstly, the blessing of life is beautifully expressed through our difficult times and at times of ease. What is it about those times that we appreciate and ultimately our source of gratitude should be Allah? Gratefulness will help us count our blessings, focus on what is beneficial in our lives and importantly allow our mind to focus on positivity. Allah says:
وَلَقَدْ آتَيْنَا لُقْمَانَ الْحِكْمَةَ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِلَّهِ وَمَن يَشْكُرْ فَإِنَّمَا يَشْكُرُ لِنَفْسِهِ وَمَن كَفَرَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَنِيٌّ حَمِيدٌ
And verily, We gave Luqman the wisdom that, “Be grateful to Allah.” And whoever (is) grateful then only he is grateful for himself. And whoever (is) ungrateful, then indeed, Allah (is) Free of need, Praiseworthy.” (Surah Luqman 31:12).
In the pursuit of finding the right one, positive affirmations can help you realize your value. Remember, you should never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. You don’t know what they’ve been through, and instead, you should be happy about other people’s accomplishments.
Stop comparing yourself to others and live your own life
- Comparing tend to have a negative role in the lives of others
- Comparing found overestimate the presence of positivity
- Comparing is usually an edited version of their reality
- Comparing never reach a point where you are better
- Comparing doesn’t help you accomplish your goals
- Comparing always evaluate your worth than others
- Comparing leads you to devalue yourself or others
- Comparing fail to detect negative feelings in others
- Comparing being delivered an incomplete picture
- Comparing yourself to others can hold you back
- Compare your eyes be directed toward the truth
- Comparing thoughts can make you feel stuck
- Comparing is damaging to your sense of self
- Compare as a benchmark for your own worth
- Love the creatures for the sake of God
- Search out your own imperfections
- We should avoid jealousy and anger
- Comparison is the thief of joy, you feel
- Use any negative energy into a positive drive
- Improve our own hearts and souls in the process
- Focus your energy on being the very best version
- Heedless souls are always seeking faults in others
- Allah is the world of perfection and complete mercy
- Our pent-up energy directed towards our own selves
- Redirect your energy and attention to your own goals
- We should turn our tendency to correct flaws inwards
Break the habit of feeling insecure, envious, and discontented with your life:
There is no such thing as the perfect life
- “No one is perfect.” Once you realize that, you’ll find that comparing yourself to others is wasted time because everyone has a different path, including you.
- Allah will never let you down: Look at those who have less and be happy with what you have? It sounds too simple but the Guidance of the Messenger of Allah is simple, practical and extremely powerful if we apply it.
- Count your blessings: A better focus is on what you do have, on what you are already blessed with. Count what you have, not what you don’t. Think about how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to be alive at all.
- Focus on your strengths: Instead of looking at your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Celebrate them! Be proud of them. Don’t brag, but feel good about them and work on using them to your best advantage.
- Don’t knock others down: Sometimes we try to criticize others just to make ourselves look or feel better. Taking someone else down for your benefit is destructive. It forms an enemy when you could be forming a friend. In the end, that hurts you as well. Instead, try to support others in their success — that will lead to more success on your part.
- Learn to love enough: If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will always want more. That’s an endless cycle, and it will never lead to happiness.
- Be happy for others: Instead of feeling jealous or like it’s a competition between you and whoever you are comparing yourself to, you should just be happy for the success of others.
- Be motivated, not competitive: Instead of feeling jealous or competitive when comparing yourself to someone else, you should instead turn that emotion into inspiration and/or motivation.
- Be confident: You may find yourself comparing yourself to others because you lack self-confidence. Some believe that confidence is something people are born with and that a person cannot learn how to be confident. Plus, by being confident with yourself, you will learn how to stop comparing yourself to others because you’ll already believe in yourself.
- Be positive and happy with who you are: Many people find themselves comparing themselves to others because they feel unlucky or sad about their situation. Everyone has something that might make them sad, angry, scared, etc., and I understand that in some circumstances it can be quite difficult to see the positive or to be happy for yourself.
- Think about your dream life: To stop comparing yourself to others, you may want to think about your dream life. This may help you realize that everyone’s on a different path and that you should be creating your own path to reach happiness and success.
Ways to Break Free from Comparing Yourself:
- Centre yourself around what is right for you
- Bring up the courage to develop yourself
- Become content with who you are
- Appreciate what you already have
- Use jealousy for yourself to grow
- Develop your own, individual potential
- Confirm your limiting beliefs that you have
- When you feel jealousy, deal more constructively
- Use any negative emotional energy as an inspiration
Every human has this very problem. However, some of us use this pain to motivate ourselves whilst others use it to punish themselves. If you are really lost in the habit of comparing yourself all the time, the first thing you want to do is to break your state. Force yourself to focus your mind on something else. Allah says:
مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ
“Whoever does righteous deeds whether male or female while he (is) a believer, then surely We will give him l a life good, and We will pay them their reward to (the) best of what they used (to) do.” (Surah An-Nahl 16:97)
Being positive can help you realize that you are able to do things, that you are in control of your life, and that little things will not kill you. Being positive will also help you move on and deal with stressful situations better. There is value in affirmations of a positive nature because our subconscious mind plays a major role in the actualization of our lives and the manifestation of our desires. When we feel good about ourselves and have a positive attitude, our lives tend to run smoothly. Allah says:
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ
“And when proclaimed your Lord, “If you are thankful, surely I will increase you; but if you are ungrateful indeed, My punishment (is) surely severe.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)
Sometimes the concept of self-love can be misunderstood by many Muslims as an egocentric activity. If self-love for you creates pride and arrogance, then you’re doing it wrong. Self-love is about instilling self-worth, respecting your body, mind, and soul that Allah has gifted us and importantly taking the time to be comfortable with who you are. Ultimately, if you can love yourself, you will be better at loving those around you. As much as we count our blessings, Allah reminds us that He only bless us with more.