Allah knows what is in our hearts

Status of Parents in Islam

Islam recognizes the family as a basic social unit. Along with the husband-wife relationship, the Parent-child relationship is the most important one. To maintain any social relationship both parties must have some clear-cut Rights as well as obligations. In the parent-child relationship, the rights of parents are the obligations (duties) of the children. Islam clearly defines the Rights of Parents (which means the duties of children). It is clear that after Allah parents are the persons who give us innumerable favours. Allah says:

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Say: Come, I will recite what your Lord has made sacred to you. He commands that you do not associate anything with Him and to be good to your parents.” (Surah Al-Anam 6:151)

The status of parents in Islam is very high. We as Muslims should give respect and love to our parents. Parents are to be treated well at all times this is a virtuous kind of action in the sight of Almighty Allah. Parents and children in Islam are bonded together by mutual obligations. Islam taught us how to kindly treat our parents for more than one occasion. “Paradise is under mother’s feet” is one saying that turned timeless and proverbial. Mothers have been granted high status in Islam. Allah says:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:36)

The father works hard to provide for their physical, educational and psychological (and spiritual) needs. It is a matter of common courtesy that if a person does you some favour you feel obliged to him. Verbally you say ‘thank you to him. You try to repay and compensate him for his gifts and favours. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“And We have enjoined (upon) man for his parents – carried him his mother (in) weakness upon weakness, and his weaning (is) in two years that “Be grateful to Me and to your parents; towards Me (is) the destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)

The Muslim should recognize the status of the parent and know his duties towards them. The status of parents in Islam is a status that mankind had not known before. You should always try to please your parents and avoid deeds that may hurt their feelings, especially when they get old and short-tempered. Love your parents and this love should be regarded as an honour and means of recompense and redemption in the Hereafter.

Muslim children are considered as precious gifts from Allah about the importance of Parents:

  1. Watch your language when you are with them
  2. Create positive thoughts about your parents
  3. Appreciate every little thing they do for you
  4. Never express a word of disgust to them
  5. Being patient and tolerant with parents
  6. Be kind to them, and never scold them
  7. Showing gratitude towards parents
  8. A parent provides all your needs
  9. Express your gratitude to them
  10. You are blessed to have them
  11. Recognizing their great status
  12. Parents are a loyal supporter
  13. Be humble and say ‘sorry’
  14. Practice saying ‘please’
  15. Keep your tone low
  16. Do not break their trust
  17. Be the best that you can be
  18. Speak politely to your parents
  19. Obey your parents as long as 
  20. Consult them in your own affairs
  21. Treat well relatives during their life 
  22. Speak humbly yourself before them
  23. Apologize to them if you fail to do so
  24. Respect their opinions and principles
  25. Do not do things that can upset them
  26. Respond to them quickly with a smile 
  27. Never speak to them with a loud voice
  28. Be patient with them when they are old
  29. Never argue with them, nor blame them
  30. If they err, show them politely their error 

Every Muslim must show kindness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. It is obligatory for children to show love, respect, and gratitude to their parents. Always speaks to parents gently and respectfully. Our Parents as a team provided for all our needs: Physical, Educational, Psychological, and in many instances, Religious, Moral, and Spiritual. It becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost Kindness, Respect, and Obedience to our Parents. Your parents are not perfect. There are times they make you feel bad, and you might have even wished you had been born into a different family.

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran:

  • “And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents.” (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:8)
  • “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good…” (Quran 4:36)
  • “Say: ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you. [He commands] that you do not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment…” (Quran 6:151)
  • “We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents. In pain did their mother bore them and in pain did she give them birth.” (Surah Ahqaf 46:15)
  • “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Qur’an 46:15)
  • “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with my others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…” (Quran 31:15)
  • “…No mother should be harmed through her child and no father through his child…” (Quran 2: 233)
  • “It is one of the Best Deeds: And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.” (Quran 19:14)
  • “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and yet be kind to your parents.” (Quran 17:23)

If a good Muslim cares for his parents, it is likely that his or her children will care for him or her too. It’s not just the kid’s responsibility to respect parents it’s the parent’s responsibility as well to enhance their family ties with Quran and Islam. If a Muslim abuses his or her parents, then that is a major sin in the all-seeing eyes of Allah. Abusing someone else’s parents is also equivalent to abusing one’s own parents which is why this is not approved in Islam.  Respect for parents is very important in Islam. Allah says:

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

“And know that your wealth and your children (are) a trial. And that Allah – with Him (is) a reward great.” (Surah Al-Anfal 8:28)

Parents are to be treated well at all times, and The Almighty’s blessings in having enabled you to do this virtuous act, be considered a great asset in this world as well as in the Hereafter. The respect we ought to pay our parents has been time and again emphasized in the Holy Qur’an. A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his or her parents on a daily basis. Allah mentions that human beings must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. Allah says:

وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَتِي وَلَمْ يَجْعَلْنِي جَبَّارًا شَقِيًّا

“And dutiful to my mother, and not He (has) made me insolent, unblessed.” (Maryam 19:32)

Allah SWT will maintain good relations with those who are good to their families and he will cut off from those who cut off from their families. It also shows us that in Islam, honouring and respecting one’s parents is of utmost importance. Rights and Duties of both parties in the Parent-child relationship. If the parents and children act according to these guidelines they can make the family environment most conducive to peace and satisfaction for the parents and healthy personality growth for children. May Allah bless us all. Ameen.