Anger is a psychological state that results from inner agitation and desire for revenge. And when this agitation becomes violent, it intensifies the fire of anger. A violent commotion engulfs one’s brain on account of which the mind and intellect lose control and become powerless. Anger is a weakness but people think of it as strength. In fact, it’s a spark that set you on fire and then you burn others. Allah says:
الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“Those who spend in [the] ease and (in) the hardship and those who restrain the anger and those who pardon [from] the people – and Allah loves the good-doers.” (Surah Al-Imran 3:134)
As humans, we go through many emotions that we feel unable to control. Anger is one of them and the strongest one too. Fortunately, for us, Allah has told us in the Quran how to deal with it. That is why the Quran as a source of information that will help us lead an Islamic life, is so very important. Allah has advised us to repress our anger in all situations, no matter how testing they are. He has mentioned this specifically in the Quran when. Allah says:
وَالَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَائِرَ الْإِثْمِ وَالْفَوَاحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ
“Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive.” (Surah Ash-Shura, 42:37)
Anger is a very natural human emotion; it is also very powerful and can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. The latter can be destructive. It can rage through a person, creating a desire for revenge and pushing a person to strike out at the object of his anger. Because it is natural it is impossible for a person to avoid it completely. It is however possible to understand the anger and thus control it.
Controlling your anger will help you feel more in control, below are some harmful effects:
- Anger causes people to commit cruel and oppressive acts
- Anger leads to depression, guilt, frustration and isolation
- Anger affects one’s mental health leading to anxiety
- Anger has negative effects and becomes blind
- Anger could utter words of disbelief or curses
- Anger affects family and society as a whole
- Anger intensifies hatred among himself
- Anger is a weakness and burns others
- Anger always have negative effects
- Anger is a reprehensible thing
- Anger leads to many evils
- Anger results in social disasters
- Anger never evolved to keep us safe
- Anger brings disaster by creating quarrels
- Anger is one of the evil whispers of shaitan
- Anger may cause the breaking of family ties
- Anger brings the enmity and hatred of others
- Anger makes a disturbance and a difficult life
- Anger became a source of shame and contempt
- Anger brings violence and hatred among the people
A person should know that anger is the key to every evil and to getting rid of anger is the key to all good qualities. The effect on the tongue is that it speaks words of slander and foul language which the wise person would feel ashamed of, and the angry person regrets them when he calms down.
Anger cures for this disease and ways to limit its effects among which are the following:
- Remind yourself of the fruits of controlling anger
- Knowing the high status who control themselves
- Strong is the one who controls himself in anger
- We have with Allah a great and lasting reward
- Controlling anger is a virtuous deed
- Try to achieve Allah’s satisfaction
- Set the highest example in anger
- Try to forgive the person
- Prayer to control temper
- Clean your heart from jealousy
- Allowing to be quiet and patience
- Do not become angry and furious
- Seeking refuge with Allah from the shaitan
- Do not become angry and paradise will be yours
- Following the Prophet’s example in the case of anger
- Keeping silent is the solution that helps to avoid ugly situations
The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls it. Remembering what Allah has promised to the righteous who keep away from the causes of anger and struggle within themselves to control it, is one of the most effective ways of extinguishing the flames of anger.
How to neutralize your own anger through self-counselling:
- A Quranic study cure for anger: Allah has given us a great remedy for hellfire! Yes, it is the Holy Quran. It prescribes the medicine for this devastating malady. It gives the strength to overcome and suppress anger.
- Avoid highly-destructive emotions: Jealousy, malice, and ill-temper are all highly-destructive emotions that not only destroy one’s peace of mind but also repel loved ones.
- Control anger: A taxing job, which often results in a range of negative emotions like anger, hatred, jealousy and loneliness.
- Think positive and straight: Stop yourself from acting on hatred to avoid repercussions.
- The source and outcome of anger: If the fire of anger is not controlled in time it progresses rapidly and because of this anger man suffers, both internally and externally.
- Anger between parents and children: Due to lack of faith and fear, this situation has grown worse and parents and children abuse each other. The home should be rooted in love.
- Anger in the marriage relationship: The mutual tolerance and suppression of their anger is replaced by day-to-day disputes, clashes which result in an overflow of divorce cases in family courts.
Controlling anger is a sign of righteousness. A righteous person is promised paradise. When a person hurts you, try to remember this simple formula, don’t blame the person blame Shaytan. So let us restrain our anger and not utter anything which cannot be taken back. Surely the one who controls his anger pleases Allah and keeps the characteristics of the righteous believer. Allah says:
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
“If an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is Hearing and Knowing.” (Surah al-A’raf 7:200)
Generally, the source of our anger towards others is some form of injustice done to us by that person– some hurtful words uttered, some action done that harmed us, not giving us our rights or any other form of physical or mental injury. As Muslims, it is our duty to assume well about others. Allah says:
Here are some types of anger that we should be aware of:
- Anger: Anger is a completely normal human emotion. Sometimes anger can be healthy and productive, but other times it can be destructive.
- Assertive: Assertive anger uses feelings of frustration for positive change. You express your anger in ways that create change around you – without causing distress or destruction.
- Behavioural: Behavioral anger is expressed physically and is usually aggressive. You may feel so overwhelmed by your emotions that you lash out at the object of your anger.
- Chronic: Chronic anger is an ongoing, generalized resentment of people, frustration with certain circumstances, and anger towards oneself.
- Judgmental: Judgmental anger is usually a reaction to a perceived injustice or someone else’s shortcoming.
- Overwhelmed: Overwhelmed anger is an uncontrolled type of anger that occurs when you feel that a situation or circumstance is beyond your control, resulting in feelings of hopelessness.
- Passive Aggressive: Passive-aggressive anger is an avoidant and likely tries to avoid all forms of confrontation. This involves repressing any feelings of frustration or anger you’re experiencing.
- Retaliatory: This is usually an instinctual response to being attacked by someone else and is one of the most common types of anger. It is motivated by revenge for a perceived wrong.
- Self-Abusive: Self-abusive anger is a shame-based type of anger. If you have been feeling hopeless, unworthy, humiliated or ashamed, you might internalize those feelings and express anger via negative self-talk, self-harm, substance use, or eating disordered behaviour.
- Verbal: Verbal anger is a form of anger that deeply hurts the target of one’s anger. Verbal anger may be expressed as furious shouting, threats, ridicule, sarcasm, intense blaming or criticism.
- Volatile: Volatile anger makes you feel mad about perceived annoyances, both big and small. Once you have impulsively expressed your anger, you often calm down just as quickly.
Islam has ruled that anger is the right thing to do. Anger is legitimate in dealing with criminals and oppressors in order to establish social justice, eliminate oppression and discrimination, and establish human rights. Anger must be used to protect national, religious and humanitarian ideals and values. However, in order to suppress injustice, care must be taken not to indulge in injustice. Allah says:
إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ فَاتَّخِذُوهُ عَدُوًّا إِنَّمَا يَدْعُو حِزْبَهُ لِيَكُونُوا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ السَّعِيرِ
“Indeed, the Shaitaan (is) to you an enemy, so take him (as) an enemy. Only he invites his party that they may be among (the) companions (of) the Blaze.” (Surah Fatir 35:6)
We should not always see anger in a negative light, for sometimes it can be a virtue and we may use it appropriately to enjoin good and forbid evil. But keep in mind that not all anger is to blame. Dua (supplication) is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he/she asks Allah to protect him/her from evil, trouble and anger. Allah says:
لَا يَرْقُبُونَ فِى مُؤْمِنٍ إِلًّۭا وَلَا ذِمَّةًۭ ۚ وَأُو۟لَٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُعْتَدُونَ
“Respecting no tie and no protective obligation with regard to a believer, and it is they, they who transgress the bounds of what is right.” (Surah At-Tawbah 9:10)
Anger is a part of human nature, and people vary in their anger. It may be difficult for a man not to get angry, but believers will remember Allah when they are reminded and will seek His help and guidance. May Allah guide us to the path of righteousness and make us among His most pious people.