Esteem them Publicly and Privately

Parents’ Rights in Islam

Allah places parents in the Muslim’s life right after His high position and goodness to parents beside monotheism. Allah never singles out a parent but mentions both of them meaning that the mother’s placement is as high as the father’s in Islam. Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said: The father is in the middle of paradise, it is up to you to either keep it or waste it. Parents are the heaven and hell of the children, our duties to our parents extend even after their death. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“And We have enjoined (upon) man for his parents – carried him his mother (in) weakness upon weakness, and his weaning (is) in two years that “Be grateful to Me and your parents; towards Me (is) the destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)

Human rights are the basic standards that people need to live in dignity. In addition to the rights that are available to all people. Parents give children the basic teachings of life and try to prepare them in the best way to enter society. Their names are the first words a baby utters: mom and dad. Loving and caring about parents is a natural human trait and is restricted neither to time nor people or religion. Allah says:

وَلِكُلٍّ جَعَلْنَا مَوَالِيَ مِمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ وَالَّذِينَ عَقَدَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ فَآتُوهُمْ نَصِيبَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدًا

“And for all We heirs of what (is) left (by) the parents and the relatives. And those who pledged your right hands – then give them their share. Indeed, Allah is over everything a Witness.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:33)

Children are born without social knowledge or social skills, and they eagerly look for someone to imitate. That “someone” is usually one or both parents. Parents are a child’s first teachers and role models. And usually, children are more affected by what their parents do than by what their parents say. They learn how to behave by seeing how their mothers and fathers behave and by following their example.

The most basic way we can raise our children is simply by being a good role model for them:

  1. Parents play an important role in social, and career development
  2. Parents do everything to see the smile on children’s face
  3. Parents are in a time of mistakes, they are like a teacher
  4. Parents trained children hard style for future challenges
  5. Parents can be role models for learning  into daily life
  6. Parents develop fun and engage in family activities
  7. Parent’s guidance and support help to live the life
  8. Parents are real friends and the first teacher
  9. Parents stay children active in their lives
  10. Parents practice respect and tolerance
  11. Parents  help in every step of life
  12. Parents treat with courtesy 
  13. Parents teach the value of health
  14. Parents help to make us educated
  15. Parents have to keep a positive outlook
  16. Parents treat well relatives during their life 
  17. Parents see educational and moral prepping
  18. Parents practice positive communication skills
  19. Parents protecting their honour and moral values
  20. Parents do all the sacrifices and reduce their living
  21. Parents are the most precious gift of God for humans
  22. Parents fulfilling financial obligations or commitments
  23. Parents play a big role in the direction of life and career
  24. Parents teach practically and theoretically about the rituals
  25. Parents do almost all the things to make well respected in society

Parents deserve the love of their children. The old man in his lifetime has raised us with all his struggles. For that, we must not forget those pliers have taken care of us. Make happy parents do not have to be with the material, but enough with the treatment and good attitude that pleases them. As a child, we should not be rude to parents. Allah says:

وَأَمَّا الْغُلَامُ فَكَانَ أَبَوَاهُ مُؤْمِنَيْنِ فَخَشِينَا أَن يُرْهِقَهُمَا طُغْيَانًا وَكُفْرًا

“And as for the boy his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them (by) transgression and disbelief.” (Al-Kahf 18:80)

The status of parents in Islam is very high. We as Muslims should give respect and love to our parents. Parents should be treated well at all times this is a virtuous kind of action in the sight of Allah. Parents and children in Islam are bonded together by mutual obligations. Islam instructs us to honour our parents, to abide by them, to follow their commands, to respect their comments. Allah says:

وَأَنفِقُوا فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلَا تُلْقُوا بِأَيْدِيكُمْ إِلَى التَّهْلُكَةِ وَأَحْسِنُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

“And spend in (the) way (of) Allah and (do) not throw (ourselves) [with your hands] into [the] destruction. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the good-doers.” (Surah Al-Baqara 2:195)

All religions and all societies have given parents an honourable status. We find ourselves indebted to our parents. Parents in today’s world, are not valued as they should be, but in the school of Islam and Quran that we read above, their placement is high. Islam put duties on children toward their parents, particularly when parents grow old and become weaker.

Allah Almighty says in The Holy Quran:

  • “…Do not worship except Allah, and to parents do good…” (Quran 2:83)
  • “Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” (Quran 31:14)
  • “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good …” (Quran 4:36)
  • ” …My Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured and sustained me in childhood.” (Quran 17:24)
  • “…No mother should be harmed through her child and no father through his child…” (Quran 2: 233)
  • “Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and believers on the day when the account is cast.” (Quran 14:41)

Parental rights are entitled to be treated in old age. Accompany them, talk to them and treat them well. Indeed the pleasure of Allah is under the pleasure of your parents, especially mothers. No impatience, disrespect, or contempt may be shown to parents. Allah praised humility only when it comes from children to their parents, but never praises humility among people. Allah says:

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Say: Come, I will recite what your Lord has made sacred to you. He commands that you do not associate anything with Him and to be good to your parents.” (Surah Al-An’am 6:151)

Your parents will become just like a child when they grow old no matter how you try to deny it. This is going to be the toughest trial of your life for which you need Allah’s support. The parent-child code of behaviour in Islam is unique since rules were laid down by divine command. Honour both your father and mother even though they are elderly. Allah says:

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers (on) the Day will (be) established the account.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:41 )

Regeneration will continue if parents have been old. The children have the right to work to help their parents. It is obligatory for whoever is married and works to provide for providing a living for their parents. This is one of their rights too. Visiting a parent’s home is mandatory for every child. The relationship must continue until a harmonious family is created. Allah says:

وَأَمَّا الْغُلَامُ فَكَانَ أَبَوَاهُ مُؤْمِنَيْنِ فَخَشِينَا أَن يُرْهِقَهُمَا طُغْيَانًا وَكُفْرًا

“And as for the boy his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them (by) transgression and disbelief.” (Surah Al-Kahf 18:80 )

As a child, we must take time to give the news to parents. What about the parents who died? We can recite a dua for them so that this happy news can be accepted by them, Whosoever behaves gentle towards his parents, then he is a man who has noble akhlaq. A devoted child who speaks gentle words to his parents Allah will include him in Heaven. Allah says:

فَلَمَّا دَخَلُوا عَلَىٰ يُوسُفَ آوَىٰ إِلَيْهِ أَبَوَيْهِ وَقَالَ ادْخُلُوا مِصْرَ إِن شَاءَ اللَّهُ آمِنِينَ

“Then when they entered upon Yusuf, he took to himself his parents and said, “Enter Egypt if Allah wills, safe..” (Surah Yusuf 12:99)

Allah commands Muslims to address their parents in terms of honour and use a highly respectful and soft language as a sign of showing mercy and compassion to the parents, in addition to praying for the parents when they grow old and become weaker and expressing thanksgiving to the parents again and again, which Allah exalted He is connected to His thanksgiving in several Quranic verses. Allah says:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surat An-Nisa 4:36)

The most beautiful gift from a child to his parents is dua. If we can not make them happy with money, then just pray for them to have all their sins forgiven by Allah and always be given health. May Almighty Allah guides us to be respectful, loving and kind to our parents so that we always stay humble and respectful regardless of the power, wealth, position and influence we may possess. Ameen!