Good manner is the key to modesty and humility

Practising Good Manners

Manners and civility are very important in Islam. A good Muslim can never be a person with poor manners. Good manners play an important role in Islam. The way a person act defines their personality. Manners and etiquettes are considered among the topmost characteristics of an individual. Good manners showed to us by the beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and his noble companions. Islam teaches good manners and forbids bad acts, in speech and indeed. Alla says:

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ * ٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلاَتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ * وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنِ ٱللَّغْوِ مُّعْرِضُونَ

“The believers must (eventually) win through, Those who humble themselves in their prayers, Who avoid vain talk.” (Surah Al-Mu’minun 23:1-3)

Since goodness is a part of human nature, people who are decent and affectionate are generally liked by others, while the inappropriate and indecorous ones are rejected. It is essential for a Muslim that he/she clothes themselves with good manners.  There is no doubt that Akhlaak is one of the qualities of a believer, most importantly it is a trademark and quality of the master of both worlds Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Alla says:

وَعِبَادُ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَىٰ ٱلأَرْضِ هَوْناً وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الجَاهِلُونَ قَالُواْ سَلاَماً

“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace.” (Surah Al-Furqan 25:63)

A positive thought is contagious; it makes people around you feel the positive vibes. But when you develop negative thoughts about someone or something, people will afraid to communicate with you and also doubt being around you for any reason. Alla says:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُكُمْ أَن تُؤَدُّوا الْأَمَانَاتِ إِلَىٰ أَهْلِهَا وَإِذَا حَكَمْتُم بَيْنَ النَّاسِ أَن تَحْكُمُوا بِالْعَدْلِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ نِعِمَّا يَعِظُكُم بِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ سَمِيعًا بَصِيرًا

“Indeed, Allah commands you to render trusts to whom they are due and when you judge between people to judge with justice. Excellent is that which Allah instructs you. Indeed, Allah is ever Hearing and Seeing.” (Surah An-Nisa, 4: 58)

The significance of goodness of character is apparent from the fact that Allah Almighty sent down all His Prophets to teach their respective nations about adopting moral and ethical behaviour. And being Muslims, we have a belief that Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) was the epitome of excellent conduct, through which He was able to spread the teachings of Islam. Alla says:

Here is some importance of the good manner in Islam:

  1. Manners practice conducting themselves with the best of morals
  2. Manners never criticize the small contributions of others
  3. Manners never ask too many favours from people
  4. Manners never let hatred cause you to be unjust
  5. Manners make our social life more pleasant
  6. Manners remove the obstacle from the way
  7. Manners never claim yourselves to be pure
  8. Manners never ask unnecessary questions
  9. Manners never be miserly nor extravagant
  10. Manners mean to put Islam recommended
  11. Manners prevent us from falling into sins
  12. Manners never call others bad names
  13. Manners take importance in religion 
  14. Manners are a way good behaviour
  15. Manners wants to achieve success
  16. Manners establishing a good relation
  17. Manners show modesty and humility
  18. Manners consists of spreading peace
  19. Manners never take items without right
  20. A Muslim should breed in his character
  21. A Muslim must try to control his temper
  22. A Muslim should develop in his character
  23. A Muslim be a kindness to orphans and poor
  24. A believer needs to be inclined towards goodness
  25. A Muslim should also ask the forgiveness of Allah
  26. A Muslim must follow him in belief, actions, and manners

Having good manners is very important for all believers. The fact is conducting good manners is not easy because it takes time. It is impossible for people to behave in a good manner drastically. How we easily get annoyed by even the smallest things every day. Controlling anger is, in fact, a difficult thing to achieve. Self-controlling is the only key to overcoming tantrums. Allah says:

وَسَارِعُوا إِلَىٰ مَغْفِرَةٍ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالْأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ

“And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden – its width (is like that of) the heavens and the earth prepared for the pious.” (Surah Ali ‘Imran 3:133)

Giving all the best to people, friends, family, and even strangers as part of self-control and avoiding throwing tantrums over people is a way to maintain a good manner. People who have done nothing harmful to you do not deserve it and those who made you angry do not need to know your anger.

Good Manners In Islam:

  • Good manners surely indicate the goodness of the upright human soul while bad manners indicate that the soul of that man is evil and wicked. A good human soul is like a sweet flower from which fragrant perfume is emitted.
  • Allah bids us towards the best morals and will reward us accordingly on Resurrection Day and also forbids us against bad morals for which He will duly punish us.
  • Bad morals cause the destruction of society and the spread of corruption.
  • The man with good morals is considered the foundation on which the structure of a sound Islamic society is built, and is among the causes of giving strength to Muslims.
  • But if Muslim communities lose their good morals of justice, mercy, and benevolence, they will be destroyed, and all the scientific progress and abundance of wealth cannot prevent it. When moral principles are abandoned, the quality of life is disrupted and led astray.
  • The onus is on all Muslims to ensure good morals which are preserved by way of self-education and practising exemplary behaviour.

Allah Almighty says in The Holy Quran:

  • “Those who are constant at their prayer.” (Quran 70:23)
  • “And those who keep a guard on their prayer.” (Quran 70:34)
  • “And indeed, you are of a great moral character.” (Quran, 68:4)
  • “And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character.” (Al-Qalam 68:4)
  • “O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is strong and trustworthy.” (Quran, 28:26)
  • “Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good.” (Quran, 3:134)
  • “That is [established] between me and you. Whichever of the two terms I complete – there is no injustice to me, and Allah, over what we say, is Witness.” (Quran, 28:28)
  • “And (they are) those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity.” (Al-Furqan: 72)
  • “Don’t take women by force, nor take back bridal gift without a valid reason & live with them in kindness” (Quran, 4:19)

Every society has its needs and demands to be able to move forward, and among many of those necessities, are showing gratitude towards seniors, and showing benevolence to the juniors. Elders are a great source of inspiration, as they have already seen the world closely, and one can learn from their experiences.

مَا شَيْءٌ أَثْقَلُ فِي مِيزَانِ الْمُؤْمِنِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ مِنْ خُلُقٍ حَسَنٍ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَيُبْغِضُ الْفَاحِشَ الْبَذِيءَ

“Nothing is heavier upon the scale of the believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the shameless, obscene person.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2002)

Good manner is the key to modesty and humility. Modesty in Islam means purity of intention. Rasulullah also said that modesty is part of faith and faith leads to paradise. Always conducting good manners will keep our lifestyle modest and humble. Also, modesty is the main characteristic of Islam. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ لَا يَشْهَدُونَ الزُّورَ وَإِذَا مَرُّوا بِاللَّغْوِ مَرُّوا كِرَامًا

“And those who (do) not bear witness (to) the falsehood, and when they pass by futility, they pass (as) dignified ones.” (Surah Al-Furqan 25:72)

Good manners have lots of benefits in life. It bridges differences, maintains a good relationship, and more. Conducting good manners is difficult because people do not change easily in one night. However, you can start it with a simple “thank you” or “please” to other people. Good manners are also a stepping stone closer to Allah.

الْبِرُّ حُسْنُ الْخُلُقِ وَالإِثْمُ مَا حَاكَ فِي صَدْرِكَ وَكَرِهْتَ أَنْ يَطَّلِعَ عَلَيْهِ النَّاسُ ‏‏

Righteousness is good character and sin is what wavers in your heart and you hate for people to know about it.” (Sahih Muslim 2553)

Thus we see war, gross injustice, and rising crime spreading in immoral societies. Vices like lying, selfishness, greed, deceit, and hypocrisy fester in the same way as germs destroy the human body. Manners are important to fulfil our faith and also in our social life. We cannot call ourselves true Muslims until we embrace and apply the Islamic instructions in our lives through appropriate mannerisms. May Allah Almighty give us the strength to improve our manners and try to imitate them! Ameen