Marriage is a bond of love

How to Treat your Wife in Islam

In Islam, the wife plays a major role as she completes half of your Deen. The Prophet (PBUH) is known to have helped his wives in the house. Treating your wife with kindness has great rewards! If you have been wondering How to Treat Your Wife in Islam, then this article is for you. In this article, I will be sharing the beautiful Hadith on How to Treat Your Wife in Islam with Quotes, and some tips that would work for a peaceful married life. Allah says:

أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ الصِّيَامِ الرَّ‌فَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَائِكُمْ ۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

“On the night of the fast, it is lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives.  They are clothing/covering (libaas) for you and you for them….” (Surat Al-Baqarah 2:187)

The Quran implores men to treat women with kindness and respect, even in times of dissent or disagreement. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs. Don’t bring up past problems once they have been solved. Sweet words don’t cost very much but can fill a woman’s heart. Allah says:

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِنْ شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِنْ كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

“And when your Lord made it known: If you are grateful would certainly give to you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is fully severe.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)

God instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability. Islam reverses the concept whereby it is the husband who must pay his wife whatever sum of money she requests. Not only is a man obliged by law to give his bride-to-be this dowry, but the Quran also states he must do so graciously, without expressing any dissent. These commands from Allah protect Women in Islam. Allah says:

وَيَا آدَمُ اسْكُنْ أَنتَ وَزَوْجُكَ الْجَنَّةَ فَكُلَا مِنْ حَيْثُ شِئْتُمَا وَلَا تَقْرَبَا هَٰذِهِ الشَّجَرَةَ فَتَكُونَا مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

“And O Adam! Dwell, you and your wife, (in) the Garden, and you both eat from wherever you both wish, but (do) not approach [both of you] this [the] tree lest you both be among the wrongdoers.” (Surah Al-A`raf 7:19)

For Muslims marriage is a foundation for family life and a pious husband or wife is a  blessing from Allah. Being nice includes good communication. A husband should be willing to open up and be willing to listen to his wife. Always showing the gratitude of the wife for everything the husband does for her. Communication, compromise, and consideration are the cornerstone of marriage.

Here are some of the most important and useful ways of treating your wife in Islam:

  1. Help in feel comfortable sharing and happy times
  2. Help incomplete the circle of caring, and sharing
  3. Help in Strengthen and deepen your marriage
  4. Help maintain her privacy from your family
  5. Help her in cooking and cleaning at home
  6. Help her in sharing every happy moment
  7. Help her, and care for her like a friend
  8. Help in being kind, gentle, and loving
  9. Help her with emotional needs
  10. Help in affection for your mate
  11. Help her in becoming a best friend
  12. Help her at home for no due reason
  13. Help her when she really needs you
  14. Help unnecessary jealousy in check
  15. Help her happy with gifts that she likes
  16. Help and support her in her daily chores
  17. Help in mistakes and do not taunt or scold
  18. Help with loving words and sweet gestures
  19. Help and acknowledge the hard work she does
  20. Help in advice and correct her mistakes in private

In an Islamic household, a man is obliged to financially provide for his wife. He is responsible to provide her food, clothing, shelter, medicine and all necessities to the best of his ability. This includes providing his wife with the same standard of living he expects for himself. Allah says:

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ

“Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them excel others and because they spend out of their money; the good women are therefore obedient… .” (Surah An-Nisa 4:34)

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance of success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner. Allah says:

وَلَا تَنكِحُوا مَا نَكَحَ آبَاؤُكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَمَقْتًا وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا

“And (do) not marry who married your fathers of the women except what has passed before, indeed it was an immorality and hateful, and (an) evil way.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:22)

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don’t take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated. When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran:

  • “If you are grateful I will increase you.” (Quran 14:7)
  • “And of all things, We created two mates; perhaps you will remember.” (Quran, 51:49)
  • “And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Quran 4:19)
  • Marry those among you who are single and (marry) your slaves, male and female, that are righteous” (Quran 24:32)
  • “Allah created male and female from a single soul so that man might live with her in serenity.” (Quran, 7:189)
  • “We indeed sent messengers before you (O Muhammad), and We assigned them wives and children” (Quran 13:38)
  • “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts).” (Quran, 23:5).

Human beings are imperfect. Conflict in marriage is virtually inevitable and it leads to lot of anger.  Although anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, the first step toward controlling it can be learning how to forgive those who hurt us.  In case of conflict, a husband should not stop talking to his wife and emotionally hurt her, but he may stop sleeping in the same bed if it will improve the situation. Make her feel special every day. Treat your wife in such a way that she becomes your fan and trusts you as a best friend. Allah says:

وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا

“And give the women their dower graciously. But if they remit to you anything of it (on there) own, then eat it (in) satisfaction (and) ease.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:4)

Be gentle, humble, and praise her for the effort that she takes to keep your family happy. Don’t be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

And those who say, “Our Lord! Grant to us from our spouses and our offspring comfort (to) our eyes, and make us for the righteous a leader.” (Surah Al-Furqan 25:74)

Thank your wife very often and tell her that you appreciate all her work and effort and say Alhamdulillah for her companionship. If you are grateful to your wife then you are grateful to Allah for blessing you with her company because it was Allah SWT that gave you the opportunity to unite together. May Allah enlighten us all with the true teachings of Islam and restore peace and happiness to all homes and families. May Allah protect Women in all cases.