One of the most discussed phenomenons in social sciences at present is the nature of happiness and the element that spring it. Different scholars and philosophers have given different definitions of happiness and how it can be achieved. On a general level, the scholastic circles agree that happiness lies within and its achievement varies from person to person and thus one thing that brings happiness might not bring happiness for the other. Allah says:
وَعَدَ اللَّهُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا وَمَسَاكِنَ طَيِّبَةً فِي جَنَّاتِ عَدْنٍ وَرِضْوَانٌ مِّنَ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ ذَٰلِكَ هُوَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ
“Allah has promised the believing men and the believing women Gardens, flow from underneath it the rivers (will) abide forever in it and dwellings blessed in Gardens (of) everlasting bliss. But the pleasure of Allah (is) greater. That, it (is) the success great.” (Surah Aat-Taubah 9:72)
Happier people tend to have good families, friends, and supportive relationships, say Diener and Biswas-Diener.“We don’t just need relationships, we need close ones” that involve understanding and caring. Happy people…see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savour the high points. Allah, the Exalted, says:
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا
“And if you fear dissension between (the) two of then send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If they both wish reconciliation, Allah will cause reconciliation between both of them. Indeed, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:35)
Prophet Muhammad said, “Among the things that bring happiness to a believer in this life are a righteous neighbour, a spacious house and a good steed.” Islam places great emphasis on the solidarity of families, neighbourhoods and the wider community. Allah says:
وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ
“And (do) not extend your eyes towards what We have given for enjoyment [with it], pairs of them (the) splendour (of) the life (of) the world, that We may test them in it. And (the) provision (of) your Lord (is) better and more lasting.” (Surah Taha 20:131)
Positive self-talk is especially useful when we are having anxiety or panic attacks. The challenge is that many of us are not aware of our thoughts! We automatically have these negative thoughts, and then we feel bad and wonder why! So the goal is to become more aware of our thoughts and then to change negative self talk to positive self-talk. Allah says:
كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“Is prescribed upon you [the] fighting while it (is) hateful to you. But perhaps [that] you dislike a thing and it (is) good for you; and perhaps [that] you love a thing and it (is) bad for you. And Allah knows while you (do) not know.” (Surah Baqarah, 2:216)
People who keep gratitude journals every week are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals. Islam is the idea that to be happy or content we must be grateful to God, not just for what we perceive to be blessings but for all circumstances. Whatever condition we find ourselves in we are grateful and sure that it is good for us as long as we are following the teachings of God. Allah says:
فَاذْكُرُونِي أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَاشْكُرُوا لِي وَلَا تَكْفُرُونِ
“So remember Me, I will remember you and be grateful to Me and (do) not (be) ungrateful to Me.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:152)
Fearing other people’s opinions is something that truly stands in the way of our happiness. Do you constantly worry about what people might think of you? Pleasing Allah is easy, pleasing people is hard, Subhan Allah! Sometimes we can’t seem to get negative thoughts out of our heads. In this case, it’s important to just take positive actions despite your thoughts. Positive actions will show your mind who is boss! They will make you feel better because you did something rather than just wallowing in negative thinking. Allah says:
إِنَّمَا ذَٰلِكُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ يُخَوِّفُ أَوْلِيَاءَهُ فَلَا تَخَافُوهُمْ وَخَافُونِ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ
“(It is) only that the Shaitaan frightens (you) (of) his allies. So (do) not fear them, but fear Me, if you are believers.” (Surah Al Imran, 3: 175)
Positive actions involve taking baby steps to achieve a goal, consulting with another person for ideas, or just exercising. A very common problem is that people feel guilty about the bad actions they have done in their past. The Prophet SAWS solves this problem for us by encouraging us to just follow a bad deed with a good deed:
“Be conscious of Allah wherever you are. Follow the bad deed with a good one to erase it, and engage others with beautiful character.”
Here some are ways to increase happiness:
- Take action despite negative thoughts
- Get adequate rest and organize your life
- Put money low on your list of priorities
- Smile, even when you don’t feel like it
- Serve others and maintain relations
- Make friends and treasured family
- Awareness and positive self-talk
- Give it away, give it away now
- Say thank you as you mean it
- Avoid worldly comparisons
- Islam makes perfect sense
- Self-awareness is the key
- Seek the Pleasure of Allāh
- Expect only from Allāh
- Build a Support Group
- Get out and exercise
- Avoid comparisons
- Satisfy your soul
- Let go of the past
- Let go of your fears
- Let go of attachment
- Let go of complaining
- Let go of your excuses
- Let go of blaming others
- Let go of low self-esteem
- Let go of criticizing others
- Let go of impressing others
- Let go of wanting to be in control
- Let oo of always wanting to be right
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Let Go of Living up to Others’ Expectations
Being aware of your thoughts requires self-honesty–being honest with yourself about your thoughts. It also requires self-compassion–being understanding and caring towards yourself–a normal human being who has negative thoughts sometimes! Allah says:
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ أُولَٰئِكَ هُمْ خَيْرُ الْبَرِيَّةِ
“Indeed, those who believe and do righteous deeds, those – they (are the) best (of) the creatures.” (Surah Al-Bayyinah, 98:7)
It’s important to realize that it’s okay to realize that a lifelong belief you have held on to is not 100% accurate. The most important step is to be aware of ourselves when we start having negative feelings. Some people are not aware of themselves and thus, keep feeding themselves with negative thoughts that do not help them in any way!
Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran:
“…Call on Me, I will respond to you.” (Ghafir, 40:60)
“And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].” (Quran: Chapter 2, Verse 45)
قُلْ إِنَّ رَبِّي يَبْسُطُ الرِّزْقَ لِمَن يَشَاءُ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ وَيَقْدِرُ لَهُ وَمَا أَنفَقْتُم مِّن شَيْءٍ فَهُوَ يُخْلِفُهُ وَهُوَ خَيْرُ الرَّازِقِينَ
“Say: “Truly, my Lord blesses the provision for whom He wills of His slaves, and also restricts it for him, and whatsoever you spend of anything (in God’s Cause), He will replace it. And He is the Best of providers.” (Surah Saba 34:39)
مَّنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَلِنَفْسِهِ وَمَنْ أَسَاءَ فَعَلَيْهَا وَمَا رَبُّكَ بِظَلَّامٍ لِّلْعَبِيدِ
“Whoever does righteous deeds then it is for his soul; and whoever does evil, then it is against it. And not (is) your Lord unjust to His slaves.” (Surah Fussilat, 41: 46)
An extremely important point to understand is that you are not your thoughts or feelings! A lot of people become confused with their thoughts and feelings as if they are the same! This is not true at all. You can learn to separate or detach yourself from your thoughts and feelings. You can look at your thoughts and feelings with an objective view and decide whether you want to have those thoughts and feelings or not. This takes practice of course. Allah says:
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ
“And (remember) when God proclaimed: ‘If you are grateful I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are ungrateful verily, My punishment is indeed severe.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)
Islam encourages people to be generous towards family, friends, neighbours, strangers and even enemies. This is mentioned repeatedly throughout the Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad. But of course, the first step is to be aware of yourself and to accept your feelings as being there. Accepting your feelings means that you respect yourself enough to acknowledge that you have feelings. You don’t have to act out of those feelings, but you do need to accept them as being there in your heart. We can’t change something we don’t recognize or accept. Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُلُوا مِن طَيِّبَاتِ مَا رَزَقْنَاكُمْ وَاشْكُرُوا لِلَّهِ إِن كُنتُمْ إِيَّاهُ تَعْبُدُونَ
“O you who believe[d]! Eat from (the) good (of) what We have provided you and be grateful to Allah if you alone worship Him.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:172)
A Muslim can easily fight and resist stress while at the same time be happy if he or she starts acting upon the instructions of the Quran and try making Islam a part of their daily lives. Happiness is not only intense joy, but it also involves contentment. In the next article, we will examine the role of happiness in Islam and discover that following the commandments of God is the path to righteousness, contentment and happiness. May Allāh is pleased with us always – and that’s the eternal happiness. Ameen.
