Parents are to be treated well at all times, and The Almighty’s blessings in having enabled you to do this virtuous act, be considered a great asset in this world as well as in the Hereafter. If Muslim sons and daughters respect their parents, are obedient, treat them kindly and are good to them, it is almost equal to worshipping Allah. The respect we ought to pay our parents has been time and again emphasized in the Holy Qur’an. Allah says:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
“And has decreed your Lord, that (do) not worship except Him Alone and to the (be) good. Whether reach with you the old age one of them, or both of them, then (do) not say to both of them a word of disrespect and (do) not repel them, but speak to them a word noble.” (Surah Al-Isra` 17:23)
Showing Gratitude towards Parents
Be grateful to your parents. It is one of the cardinal principles of good manners and the acknowledgement of debt. One should be grateful to the parents for all the kindness, extraordinary love, and unparalleled sacrifices they undergo in bringing us up. The Almighty has decreed that when we render thanks to Him, we should express gratitude to our parents as well. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And we have enjoined on man (To be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), ‘Show gratitude to Me and thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)
If a good Muslim cares for his parents, his or her children will likely care for him or her too. It’s not just the kid’s responsibility to respect parents it’s the parent’s responsibility as well to enhance their family ties with Quran and Islam.
Showing Tolerance towards Parents
You should always try to please your parents and avoid deeds that may hurt their feelings, especially when they get old and short-tempered. In old age, people do tend to make unusual demands and claims but it should be tolerated cheerfully without any retort in anger or frustration. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And We have enjoined (upon) man for his parents – carried him his mother (in) weakness upon weakness, and his weaning (is) in two years that “Be grateful to Me and your parents; towards Me (is) the destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)
Duties Of A Muslim Towards His Parents
In today’s time, parents are seen as a burden and are often sent elsewhere so that the children do not care for them. Shrugging off the responsibility of caring for parents is a sin and results in nothing but an end in Hell. When it comes to how the mother and father should be cared for, they deserve equal attention in terms of care physical and mental comfort and peace.
Your Love and Obligation towards Your Parents
In Islam, each child has a duty towards his or her parents. One of the most basic requirements in Islam is that each child should be obedient towards his or her parents and participate in acts of kindness towards them. Love your parents and this love should be regarded as an honour and means of recompense and redemption in the Hereafter. Allah says:
وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ وَلَمْ يَكُن جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا
“And dutiful to his parents, and not he was a tyrant disobedient.” (Surah Maryam 19:14)
When the Parents are Non-Muslims
Even if the parents are non-Muslims, they are to be treated well and all courtesy be shown to them. But obedience in matters of religion should be refused and they are not to be followed if they ask you to commit a sin or an act of associating somebody with. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
“We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not, ye have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.” (Surah Al-`Ankabut 29:8 )
Prayers for Parents
Always pray for your parents, recalling their kindness and beg for their weal from The Almighty and His Mercies for them. Respecting parents is a form of obligation in Islam. It should be something that never is questioned because the answer is obvious, parents give birth and raise us. With all their sacrifice throughout our lives, no children can ever repay their parents’ goodness. Allah says:
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“And lower to them (the) wing (of) humility (out) of [the] mercy and say, “My Lord! Have mercy on both of them as they brought me up (when I was) small.” (Surah Al-Isra` 17:24)
Islam sees respect for parents as one of the most important aspects of life. There are many aspects in life considered unforgivable sins and not respecting parents is one of them.
Special Treatment of the Mother
One should have a special regard for his/her mother. It is the mother that carries the fetus in her womb for nine months and then nourishes the child with her milk.
Here are some ways to respect your parents:
- Create positive thoughts about your parents
- Understand where they are coming from
- Take time to ask how they are doing
- The parent provides all your needs
- Involve them in family activities
- Express your gratitude to them
- The parent is a loyal supporter
- Parents are a teacher in life
- Be humble and say ‘sorry’
- A parent always love you
- Talk to them constantly
- Listen to their advice
- Give them presents
- Visit them regularly
- Keep your tone low
- Practice saying ‘please’
- Respect their decisions
- Help in household chores
- Be the best that you can be
- Do not laugh at their mistakes
- Serve them as much as you can
- Do not do things that can upset them
- Be patient with them when they are old
- Appreciate every little thing they do for you
- Watch your language when you are with them
If a Muslim abuses his or her parents, then that is a major sin in the all-seeing eyes of Allah. Abusing someone else’s parents is also equivalent to abusing one’s parents which is why this is not approved in Islam. The Prophet (s.a.w) replied thus when he was asked about major sins. Allah says:
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ
“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers (on) the Day will (be) established the account.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:41)
Respect for parents is very important in Islam as it determines not only the place of a Muslim in the hereafter but also serves as an opportunity to cleanse one’s parents’ sins. Therefore, respecting parents, showing them kindness and being obedient to them is very important in Islam. please do remember to share the topic duties of a Muslim towards his parents and spread the knowledge of Islam. Allah says:
فَلَمَّا دَخَلُوا عَلَىٰ يُوسُفَ آوَىٰ إِلَيْهِ أَبَوَيْهِ وَقَالَ ادْخُلُوا مِصْرَ إِن شَاءَ اللَّهُ آمِنِينَ
“Then when they entered upon Yusuf, he took to himself his parents and said, “Enter Egypt if Allah wills, safe.” (Surah Yusuf 12:99)
According to the Prophet (s.a.w), the parents are the determinants of Heaven or Hell. This means that if a Muslim child is kind to them, obeys them, respects them, tends to their needs and keeps them comfortable and happy, then that child will go to Heaven. However, if a child is disrespectful, talks rudely don’t take care of their needs and comfort and cause them to be hurt in any way, that child is preparing for Hell. So he should know the duties of a Muslim towards his parents.
You are blessed to have them
Your parents are not perfect. There are times they make you feel bad, and you might have even wished you had been born into a different family. However, remember that not all children had the privilege to be born and raised in a home. Some of them did not even have a glimpse of this world, because their parents did not give them a chance to live. Some were abandoned when they were still small because their parents could not take the responsibility of taking care of them. Be thankful for your parents’ love and sacrifices for you. They deserve to be loved and honoured in return.
