Parents pleasure leads to Allah’s goodwill

The Concept of Parents in Islam

The concept of parents in Islam is very high. Islam clearly defines that after Allah parents are the persons who give us innumerable favours. Islam recognizes the family as a basic social unit. Along with the husband-wife relationship, the Parent-child relationship is the most important one. To maintain any social relationship both parties must have some clear-cut Rights as well as obligations. Every Muslim must show kindness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. Allah says:

وَأَمَّا الْغُلَامُ فَكَانَ أَبَوَاهُ مُؤْمِنَيْنِ فَخَشِينَا أَن يُرْهِقَهُمَا طُغْيَانًا وَكُفْرًا

“And as for the boy his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them (by) transgression and disbelief.” (Surah Al-Kahf 18:80)

Parents and children in Islam are bonded together by mutual obligations. Islam taught us how to kindly treat our parents for more than one occasion. “Paradise is under mother’s feet” is one saying that turned timeless and proverbial. Mothers have been granted high status in Islam. We as Muslims should give respect and love to our parents. Parents are to be treated well at all times this is a virtuous kind of action in the sight of Allah. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَتَّخِذُوا آبَاءَكُمْ وَإِخْوَانَكُمْ أَوْلِيَاءَ إِنِ اسْتَحَبُّوا الْكُفْرَ عَلَى الْإِيمَانِ وَمَن يَتَوَلَّهُم مِّنكُمْ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ 

“O you who believe, do not ally yourselves even with your parents and your siblings if they prefer disbelieving over believing. Those among you who ally themselves with them are transgressing.” (Surah Al-Taubah 9:23)

Muslims should recognize the concept of parents and know their duties towards them. The father works hard to provide for their physical, educational and psychological (and spiritual) needs. It is a matter of common courtesy that if a person does you some favour you feel obliged to him. You try to repay and compensate him for his gifts and favours. Children must show love, respect, and gratitude to their parents.

Here are some importance of Parents and our duty in Islam:

  1. Parents are the pave-way to Paradise or Hell
  2. Parents pleasure leads to Allah’s goodwill
  3. Understand where they are coming from
  4. Never express a word of disgust to them
  5. If they err, show them politely their error
  6. Be kind to them, and never scold them
  7. Never speak to them with a loud voice
  8. Respect their opinions and principles
  9. Respect their opinions and principles
  10. Respond to them quickly with a smile 
  11. Apologize to them if you fail to do so
  12. Speak humbly yourself before them
  13. Do not bring up past issues
  14. Do not break their trust
  15. Be the best that you can be
  16. Do not do things that can upset them
  17. Be patient with them when they are old
  18. Never argue with them, nor blame them
  19. Practice positive communication skills
  20. Honour them and guard their reputation
  21. Appreciate every little thing they do for you
  22. Create positive thoughts about your parents
  23. Watch your language when you are with them
  24. Fulfilling financial obligations or commitments
  25. Ask their opinions when making a major decision

God has commanded us to treat our parents with the utmost respect, no matter the situation we are in. Parents and children in Islam are bonded together by mutual obligations. Allah mentions that human beings must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. They deserve to be loved and honoured in return. Islam considers dutifulness to parents one of the deeds that lead to Paradise. Allah says:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا

“And if you fear dissension between (the) two of then send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If they both wish reconciliation, Allah will cause reconciliation between both of them. Indeed, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:35)

Honour begets honour. God will not honour those who will not obey His command to honour their parents. We need to obey our parents because nature demands it. The only thing that we can do is to acknowledge our shortcomings and submit ourselves, in obedience and loyalty, before our parents.  Children must show love, respect, and gratitude to their parents. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“And We have enjoined (upon) man for his parents – carried him his mother (in) weakness upon weakness, and his weaning (is) in two years that “Be grateful to Me and your parents; towards Me (is) the destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)

Parents are to be treated well at all times. The appreciation we should pay our parents respect has been over and over underlined. You should always try to please your parents and avoid deeds that may hurt their feelings, especially when they get old and short-tempered. Allah says:

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers (on) the Day will (be) established the account.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:41)

Always speaks to parents gently and respectfully. Love your parents and this love should be regarded as an honour and means of recompense and redemption in the Hereafter.

Quran lays stress on feeling grateful to parents and doing good to them:

  • “And dutiful to his parents, and not he was a tyrant disobedient.” (Quran 19:14)
  • “And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents…” (Quran 29:8 & 46:15)
  • “And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents.” (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:8)
  • “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good…” (Quran 4:36)
  • “We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents. In pain did their mother bore them and in pain did she give them birth.” (Surah Ahqaf 46:15)
  • “And as for the boy his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them (by) transgression and disbelief.” (Al-Kahf 18:80 )
  • “And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.” (Quran, 8:28)
  • “It is one of the Best Deeds: And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.” (Quran 19:14)
  • “…No mother should be harmed through her child and no father through his child…” (Quran 2: 233)

In today’s time, parents are seen as a burden and are often sent elsewhere so that the children do not care for them. Shrugging off the responsibility of caring for parents is a sin and results in nothing but an end in Hell. Allah says:

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers (on) the Day will (be) established the account.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:41)

When it comes to how the mother and father should be cared for, they deserve equal attention in terms of care and physical and mental comfort and peace. As Muslims, we have to teach our children about having good moral conduct and good manners. Allah says:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“And lower to them (the) wing (of) humility (out) of [the] mercy and say, “My Lord! Have mercy on both of them as they brought me up (when I was) small.” (Surah Al-Isra17: 24)

Islam commands us to honour our parents, to obey them, to respect their opinion, and to be kind in general to our family members. One of the most important concepts for family life in Islam is known as “upholding family ties” (Silat ar-Rahim). Our duties to our parents extend even after their death. One of the best ways to honour our parents when they are gone is by being kind to their friends. Allah says:

كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذَا حَضَرَ أَحَدَكُمُ الْمَوْتُ إِن تَرَكَ خَيْرًا الْوَصِيَّةُ لِلْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ حَقًّا عَلَى الْمُتَّقِينَ

Prescribed for you when approaches any of you [the] death, if he leaves good (making) the will for the parents and the near relatives with due fairness a duty on the righteous ones.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:180)

Every Muslim must show kindness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. Always pray for your parents, recalling their kindness and beg for their weal from  The Almighty and His Mercies for them. A Muslim is required to obey his parents and show kindness to them even if they are not Muslim. May Allah guides us to be respectful, loving and kind to our parents and so that we always stay humble and respectful regardless of the power, wealth, position and influence we may possess. Ameen!