God has ordained the good treatment of parents and warned us against treating them with disrespect. There are several verses in the Quran where kindness to parents is even coupled with the most important aspect of Islam, worshipping God alone. This indicates that being kind to parents, honouring and respecting them, is extremely important in the way of life that is Islam. Allah says:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:23)
Parents play the biggest role in our development. Father & Mother play an important role in our mental, physical, social, financial and career development. They help us in every step of our life. Parents are the most precious gift of God for humans. When we are happy then they are happy. They slapped on us when we did wrong. God clearly prohibits the bad treatment of parents. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“We enjoined the human being to honour his parents. His mother bore him, and the load got heavier and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning. You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your parents. To Me is the ultimate destiny.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)
In a time of mistakes, they are like a teacher. They trained us very hard style for future challenges. We do lots of mistakes at this age, we try to convince parents every time for our activities with the outer world. What right or wrong they did do and what were their results. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; but if they strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not.” (Surah Al-‘Ankabut 29:8)
We know that they are happy because we’re happy. They are happy even you give them your second-hand phone.No one can do this in the world; only our parents can do such amazing things. They just want you’re living happily. Parents are the only people from whom a child can expect unconditional love. Without them, he is unfulfilled in life. He becomes a loner and faces many hardships in life. Allah says:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
“Indeed, Allah commands justice and the good, and giving (to) relatives, and forbids [from] the immorality and the bad and the oppression. He admonishes you so that you may take heed.” (Surah An-Nahl 16:90 )
When we are happy then they are happy. They slapped on us when we did wrong. In a time of mistakes, they are like a teacher. They trained us very hard style for future challenges. Parents do almost all the things to make us educated and well respected in society. Our teenage activities play a big role in the direction of our life and career. This is the tensest situation for our parents and it is most enjoyable for us. No matter what you’re doing right or wrong. But they’re always connected to you at this stage. Allah says:
لَّا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِّن نَّجْوَاهُمْ إِلَّا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلَاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ مَرْضَاتِ اللَّهِ فَسَوْفَ نُؤْتِيهِ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا
“(There is) no good in much of their secret talk except (he) who orders charity or kindness or conciliation between the people. And who does that seeking pleasure (of) Allah then soon We a reward great.” (Surah an-Nisa 4:114)
Parents are living for us. They are real God and our first teacher. They know everything about us. What we like, love and our common habits. They know what things disturb us and what kind of mental attitude we have. That’s why I think why is parents involvement important in a child’s education. Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَتَّخِذُوا آبَاءَكُمْ وَإِخْوَانَكُمْ أَوْلِيَاءَ إِنِ اسْتَحَبُّوا الْكُفْرَ عَلَى الْإِيمَانِ وَمَن يَتَوَلَّهُم مِّنكُمْ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ
“O you who believe, do not ally yourselves even with your parents and your siblings if they prefer disbelieving over believing. Those among you who ally themselves with them are transgressing.” (Surah At-Tawbah 9:23)
Parents give moral support to the child in case of failure. During some accident or love failure or divorce, having parents besides is a great boon. They provide immediate moral support and strength to tackle the situation. They are the people who can console you and put you back into life. Allah says:
وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمْ تَعَالَوْا إِلَىٰ مَا أَنزَلَ اللَّهُ وَإِلَى الرَّسُولِ قَالُوا حَسْبُنَا مَا وَجَدْنَا عَلَيْهِ آبَاءَنَا أَوَلَوْ كَانَ آبَاؤُهُمْ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ شَيْئًا وَلَا يَهْتَدُونَ
“When it is said to them: “Come to what Allah hath revealed; come to the Messenger”: They say: “Enough for us are the ways we found our fathers following.” what! even though their fathers were void of knowledge and guidance?” (Surah Al-Ma’idah 5:104)
They are the real leader in our life and they never show off this to us and never dominate our feelings. It’s ok, that sometimes we feel dissatisfied and sore from them. We started behaving differently opposite to how we do, and the sooner they judge that something wrong is happening with us. That’s why when the outer world or people leave us alone, our parents are the only ones who support us in each and every step of our life with smiles and happiness. Prophet Muhammad reinforced the duty to be kind to parents. Allah says:
Let’s understand the following points, Why parents are important? Why you should respect them and their decisions in life.
- They spend quality time with their children
- They understand their kids’ love language
- They encourage dialogues with the kids
- Pay attention to what your child loves
- Importance of parents in decisions
- Parents help to make us educated
- They are the real leader in our life
- Parents are always happy for us
- Involvement in success
- Tune into how your child learns
- They stay connected as a couple
- They encourage more and criticize less
- They teach more with actions and words
- Practice what your child learns at school
- Importance of parents when we’re a child
- They act as responsible individuals themselves
- They let their children make their own decisions
- They emphasize more on moral and materialistic things
Parents provide each and everything to us, whenever and whatever we need and wherever we need. Parents work hard day and night for their children education. And they feel proud of us when we got good marks in results. Their guidance and support help us to live the life we always wanted. Allah says
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:24)
They help in our teenage by guiding us from our own experiences and thinking about our day to day activities. Parent’s guidance in teenage is most important than other people advice. Allah says:
فَلَا تَكُ فِي مِرْيَةٍ مِّمَّا يَعْبُدُ هَٰؤُلَاءِ مَا يَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا كَمَا يَعْبُدُ آبَاؤُهُم مِّن قَبْلُ وَإِنَّا لَمُوَفُّوهُمْ نَصِيبَهُمْ غَيْرَ مَنقُوصٍ
Do not have any doubt regarding what these people worship; they worship exactly as they found their parents worshipping. We will require them their due share fully, without reduction.” (Surah Hud 11:109)
It is clear that parent-child relationships are the best way to keep your kids on track. But there are many more benefits to the same:
- Helps promote problem-solving skills
- Helps the child to be optimistic and confident
- Promotes child’s mental, emotional development
- Parent’s interaction promotes social and academic skills
- Helps to develop a happy and content relationship with others in life
- The secure relationship with parents helps to regulate emotions in difficult times
One of the biggest responsibilities of parents is to instil confidence in their children and this can be achieved by being more encouraging and motivating of the children’s strengths and good qualities. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)
Constant criticism can rip the children from their self-esteem and demoralize them. It can take them into withdrawal mode and secretiveness, while regular appreciation helps in building strong, confident and positive children. Responsible parents reward good behaviour.
Tips for Building a Positive Parent-Children Relationship
- Make Family Time Important
- Unorganized Relationship
- Start from the Beginning
- Ambivalent Relationship
- Avoidant Relationship
- Invest Time and Effort
- Communication
- Respect Your Child
- Secure Relationship
- Encourage Your Child
- Trust Your Child and Be Trustworthy
- Prioritise Your Relationship with Your Child
- Get Involved in Their Studies, Friends, and Activities
When something bad happened or we did wrong they scold us but they support us in our difficult times in life. Whatever the situation or whatever is the problem that we are facing in life, career, and the job they try and motivate and inspire us by their own examples to make a tough into good. They try to make a balance in our emotional persistence that helps to improve the tough situation faster. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
“We enjoined the human being to honour his parents. But if they try to force you to set up idols beside Me, do not obey them. To Me is your ultimate return, then I will inform you of everything you had done.” (Surah Al-‘Ankabut 29:8)
Being dutiful to parents, obeying them and treating them with kindness is embedded in the teachings of Islam, however, obedience to God is always the first and foremost duty in Islam. We know that it was and it is very tough to follow the advice especially when it is from parents. But without their advice and without their happiness we can’t achieve what we want. Their blessings and guidance in our teenage helped us to choose good friends, the right career, and the happiest living.
