Parents are a teacher in life

Importance of Parents In Islam

Islam commands us to honour our parents, to obey them, to respect their opinion, and to be kind in general to our family members. One of the most important concepts for family life in Islam is known as “upholding family ties” (silat ar-Rahim). The Quran and Sunnah contain many injunctions calling us to behave well with our family members, even if they are unbelievers, and scholars have compiled these into many works demonstrating the importance of strong family relations. Allah says:

وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا ۖ وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ

“If they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you do not know, then do not obey them but accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me.” (Surat Luqman 31:14-15)

Allah will maintain relations with those who are good to their families and He will cut off those who sever relations with their families. Upholding family ties does not mean simply returning good behaviour when our family members are good to us. Rather, truly upholding family ties means to behave well with them no matter what they do to us. Our duties to our parents extend even after their death. One of the best ways to honour our parents when they are gone is by being kind to their friends. Allah says:

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Come, I will recite what your Lord has made sacred to you. He commands that you do not associate anything with Him and to be good to your parents.” (Surah Al-An’am 6:151)

Parents care for and nurture their children their entire lives, but at one point this duty reverses, parents become old and feeble and in need of this care and nurturing themselves. The child is obligated to care for the parents by displaying all the qualities of birth and knowing that the reward for this is with God. Prophet Muhammad reinforced the duty to be kind to parents.

Here are some importance of parents and our duty in Islam:

  1. Watch your language when you are with them
  2. Create positive thoughts about your parents
  3. Appreciate every little thing they do for you
  4. Never express a word of disgust to them
  5. Treat with courtesy your parents’ friends
  6. Never argue with them, nor blame them
  7. Be patient with them when they are old
  8. Be kind to them, and never scold them
  9. Do not do things that can upset them
  10. Take time to ask how they are doing
  11. Showing gratitude towards parents
  12. Express your gratitude to them
  13. Give a charity on their behalf
  14. Parents are a teacher in life
  15. Be humble and say ‘sorry’
  16. Parents are a loyal supporter
  17. Speak politely to your parents
  18. You are blessed to have them
  19. Recognizing their great status
  20. Do not laugh at their mistakes
  21. Involve them in family activities
  22. Serve them as much as you can
  23. Respect their opinions and principles
  24. Respond to them quickly with a smile 
  25. Never speak to them with a loud voice
  26. If they err, show them politely their error
  27. Never frown at them, nor give them an angry look
  28. Never take anything from them without permission
  29. Do what pleases them, and help without their asking 
  30. Honour them and guard their reputation and property

Giving due respect and care to your parents is not only your religious duty but also your ethical obligation. They sacrifice a lot just to facilitate you with your requirements and so many other things in life. In all cases, the children must show love and gratitude to their parents. They must always speak to them gently and respectfully. Allah says:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surat An-Nisa 4:36)

Every Muslim must show kindness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. Children must show love, respect, and gratitude to their parents. Always speaks to parents gently and respectfully. Our Parents as a team provided for all our needs It becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost Kindness, Respect, and Obedience to our Parents. Your parents are not perfect. There are times they make you feel bad, and you might have even wished you had been born into a different family.

Quran lays stress on feeling grateful to parents and doing good to them. Allah says:

  • “And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents.” (Surah Al-’Ankabut 29:8)
  • “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good…” (Quran 4:36)
  • “…No mother should be harmed through her child and no father through his child…” (Quran 2: 233)
  • “Say: ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you. [He commands] that you do not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment…” (Quran 6:151)
  • “We have enjoined on the human beings to be kind to his parents. In pain did their mother bore them and in pain did she give them birth.” (Surah Ahqaf 46:15)
  • “It’s a Major Sin to be Undutiful to Parents: And [made me] dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me a wretched tyrant.” (Quran 19:32)
  • “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Quran 46:15)
  • “And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.” (Quran, 8:28)
  • “It is one of the Best Deeds: And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.” (Quran 19:14)

If a good Muslim cares for his parents, his or her children will likely care for him or her too. It’s not just the kid’s responsibility to respect parents its the parent’s responsibility as well to enhance their family ties with Quran and Islam. If a Muslim abuses his or her parents, then that is a major sin in the all-seeing eyes of Allah. Abusing someone else’s parents is also equivalent to abusing one’s parents which is why this is not approved in Islam.  Respect for parents is very important in Islam. Allah says:

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

“And know that your wealth and your children (are) a trial. And that Allah – with Him (is) a reward great.” (Surah Al-Anfal 8:28)

Parents are to be treated well at all times, and The Almighty’s blessings in having enabled you to do this virtuous act, be considered a great asset in this world as well as in the Hereafter. The respect we ought to pay our parents has been time and again emphasized in the Holy Qur’an. A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his or her parents daily. Allah mentions that human beings must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

“And We have enjoined (on) man goodness to his parents, but if they both strive against you to make you associate with Me what not you have of it any knowledge, then (do) not obey both of them. To Me (is) your return, and I will inform you about what you used (to) do.” (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:8)

Each particular parent has served us in a special way that only natural fathers and mothers can provide. We should realize that our fathers have served us so much that we can never fully compensate them. Our supplications for Allah to forgive them and have mercy on them will benefit them even as they are existing in the grave. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and your parents, to Me is the final destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)

Allah SWT will maintain good relations with those who are good to their families and he will cut off from those who cut off from their families. It also shows us that in Islam, honouring and respecting one’s parents is of utmost importance. Rights and Duties of both parties in the Parent-child relationship. If the parents and children act according to these guidelines they can make the family environment most conducive to peace and satisfaction for the parents and healthy personality growth for children. May Allah bless us all. Ameen.