Manners are a way of doing something, a way of behaving, etiquette, or it could be a person’s outward way of behaving toward others. Manners are a way of doing something, a way of behaving, etiquette, or it could be a person’s outward way of behaving toward others. The issue of good manners is very important in Islam; it is the basis of one’s success in daily life, through which someone can make a distinctive place in the Islamic community. The issue of good manners is very important in Islam. Allah says:
وَسَارِعُوا إِلَىٰ مَغْفِرَةٍ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالْأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“Hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous, who spend during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people; and Allah loves the doers of good.” (Surah Ali Imran 3:134)
Manners are the basis of one’s success in daily life, through which someone can make a distinctive place in the Islamic community. Dealing with others with good manners means putting them at ease, the way that Islam recommends us to deal with others. Good manners or Adab consists of spreading words of peace, reviving broken relationships between people, involves praying for other Muslim brothers and sisters, advising and calling each other to do good and to stop that which is evil. Allah says:
لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad PUBH), you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.” (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:21)
Good manners are about respecting parents, elders, neighbours and showing love and compassion to the young ones. Visiting the sick and abstaining from evils such as backbiting and slandering also includes good manners. Allah loves those who possess these great qualities.
Here is the importance of Manners in Islam:
- Muslims should show kindness and obedience to their parents
- Muslim communities uphold their good morals of justice
- Muslims should learn and teach Islamic knowledge
- Muslims should respect elders and be kind to kids
- Muslims should avoid every bad conversation
- Muslims should show modesty and humility
- Manners make our social life more pleasant
- Good manners make one close to Allah
- Muslims should get a positive vibe
- Muslims should honour the guest
- Good manners increase faith
- Do not disrespect your parents
- Don’t deceive people in the trade
- Don’t ask unnecessary questions
- Don’t claim yourselves to be pure
- Do not despair of the mercy of Allah
- Do not use another’s wealth unjustly
- Don’t let hatred cause you to be unjust
- Don’t ask too many favours from people
- Dealing with one’s parents in the best manner
- Don’t criticise the small contributions of others
Good manners encompass a wide range of social etiquette, from speaking to groups in public, to avoiding backbiting or fault-finding to speaking pleasantly of others but avoiding excessive flattery. Dealing with others with good manners means putting them at ease, the way that Islam recommends us to deal with others. It is not just an important part of our religion, Islam, but also makes our social life more pleasant. Allah says:
آمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَأَنفِقُوا مِمَّا جَعَلَكُم مُّسْتَخْلَفِينَ فِيهِ فَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مِنكُمْ وَأَنفَقُوا لَهُمْ أَجْرٌ كَبِيرٌ
Believe in Allah and His Messenger and spend what He has made you trustees therein. And those who believe among you and spend, for them (is) a reward great.” (Surah Al-Hadid 57:7)
A Muslim can’t be a true Muslim if he does all kinds of worship, i.e. prayer, fast, zakat, pilgrimage, etc., in the best way but neglects an important side of his worship, i.e. Adab or good manners. Good manners consist of spreading words of peace, reviving broken relationships between people, involving praying for other Muslim brothers and sisters, advising and calling each other to do good and to stop what is evil.
Following is a list of good manners that we can learn from the Glorious Quran:
- “And indeed, you are of a great moral character.” (Quran, 68:4)
- “O you, who have believed, fear Allah and be with those who are true.” (Quran, 9: 119)
- “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Quran 7:199)
- “And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace” (Quran 25:63)
- “Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good.” (Quran 3:134)
- “Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah.” (Quran 39:53)
- “Eat and drink from the provision of Allah, and do not commit abuse on the earth, spreading corruption.” (Quran 2:60)
- “… but do not cooperate in sin and aggression. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.” (Quran 5:2)
- “And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah].” (Quran 20:44)
- “And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah].” ( Quran 20:44)
Manners are important to fulfil our faith and also in our social life. Every society has its needs and demands to be able to move forward, and among many of those necessities are showing gratitude towards seniors and showing benevolence to the juniors. Elders are a great source of inspiration, as they have already seen the world closely, and one can learn from their experiences. Having good manners is equivalent to spending the nights in prayer, and such behaviour is also known as one of the keys to Paradise. Allah says:
لَّا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ
“Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes – from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly.” (Surah Al-Mumtahanah 60:8)
Manners are important to fulfil our faith and also in our social life. If someone wants to achieve success, it is by good manners that every success can be achieved in this life. A true Muslim should always keep a good balance between behaving towards the young ones and the older ones. Good manners and a sense of morality can prevent us from falling into sins. Allah Almighty made it an essential part of the faith without which our faith cannot be completed. May Allah Almighty give us the strength to improve our manners and try to imitate them! Ameen
