Backbiting destroys reputations

How to Help Yourself

God wants us to be thinking individuals. It is therefore not only important to audit what we have done but to plan for the future as well. We must plan for our time and money to live a purposeful life. Such a life is the main difference between animals and human beings. Otherwise, our life cycle is not much different. We are born, we eat and drink, grow, reproduce, and die. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَلْتَنظُرْ نَفْسٌ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ لِغَدٍ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ

“O you who believe! Consciously revere Allah and let look every soul what it has sent forth for tomorrow, and consciously revere Allah. Indeed, Allah (is) All-Aware of what you do.” (Surah Al-Hashr 59:18)

It is good for us, personally as well as for our family, to plan. But as we plan we should think of our communities and our country as well. Being able to love for your brother or sister what you love for yourself is a characteristic every true Muslim should train their heart upon. The template for planning should be the common supplication (Dua) we ask God for in our daily prayers: Allah says:

وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

And from those who say, “Our Lord! Grant us in the world good and the Hereafter good, and save us (from the) punishment (of) the Fire.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:201)

Some people see flaws in others and instead of hoping for them to improve they put the person down further to feel better. This is a disease of the heart, wanting to see others do badly to feel better yourself. When you see flaws in others, try to help them fix their problems, advise them gently, offer help in reconciling between people and love for that person to grow closer to Allah. Allah says:

وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِي آدَمَ وَحَمَلْنَاهُمْ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَاهُم مِّنَ الطَّيِّبَاتِ وَفَضَّلْنَاهُمْ عَلَىٰ كَثِيرٍ مِّمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلًا

“And certainly, We have honoured (the) children of Adam and We carried them on the land and the sea, and We have provided them of the good things and We preferred them over many of those whom We have created (with) preference.” (Surah Al-Isra` 17:70)

Developing plans will help you be more prepared and empowered to take action when it comes to your recovery. Know that as humans we all make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. So don’t feel demotivated and depressed every time you make a mistake. Don’t give up. We all learn from our mistakes, and success also comes after failure. Allah says:

وَقُل لِّعِبَادِي يَقُولُوا الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلْإِنسَانِ عَدُوًّا مُّبِينًا

“And say to My slaves (to) say that which (is) best. Indeed, the Shaitaan sows discord between them. Indeed, the Shaitaan is to the man an enemy clear.” (Surah Al-Isra` 17:53)

Consider your interests, things that bring you joy and things that keep you motivated. Also, think about the things you want, like where you want your life to go or what you would do more of if you could. It’s helpful to think of small steps to take toward them over a certain amount of time, like a week or a month. Remember to congratulate yourself on any successes. Achieving goals – even small ones – is a sign of hope and accomplishment.

Here are some healthy steps to taking good care of yourself:

  1. Focus and appreciate the blessings Allah has given you
  2. Focus goals that you want to work your way towards
  3. Focus a deep investment in the goals that you set
  4. Focus to get rid of the negative companyFocus
  5. Focus himself to remember Allah frequently
  6. Focus on your life instead of your illness
  7. Focus and share your blessings
  8. Focus to explore your talents
  9. Focus to practice self-control
  10. Focus on solving problems
  11. Focus on your strengths
  12. Focus to utilize your skills
  13. Focus for recovery can be tricky
  14. Focus and start identifying bigger
  15. Focus your work on your recovery
  16. Focus out what things are necessary
  17. Focus a great way to learn about yourself
  18. Focus tp achieve a good resource to turn back
  19. Focus your own experiences through writing or talking
  20. Focus on the future instead of reviewing hurts from the past
  21. Focus on the negative experiences will only make things harder

Be clear about why you set this goal and how your life will be different once this goal is achieved. You should also consider the strengths and skills that you possess that will help you achieve your goal. Try to involve necessary support systems and resources that can help you through the process if and when you need it. Finally, remember to stay focused on the goal and not on the difficulties you might be having.

Some tips for self-care include:

  • Live Healthily: Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and avoid drugs and alcohol. Manage stress and go for regular medical check-ups.
  • Practice good hygiene: Good hygiene is important for social, medical, and psychological reasons in that it not only reduces the risk of illness but also improves the way others view you and how you view yourself.
  • See friends: Build your sense of belonging. Consider joining a support group to make new friends.
  • Try to do something you enjoy every day: Taking good care of yourself is paramount to the success of your recovery process. Working in the garden, painting or reading.
  • Find ways to relax: Like meditation, yoga, getting a massage, taking a bath or walking in the woods.
  • Strengthen your connections: The importance of incorporating joy, spirit, and relaxation in your life has many implications in developing resiliency (the ability to recover from an illness) and staying healthy.
  • Connect with yourself: It is important that you check in with yourself periodically. If you do not then you may not realize that things are changing or getting out of control.
  • Connect with others: Spending time with positive, loving people you care about and trust can ease stress, help your mood and improve the way you feel overall.
  • Connect To Your Community: A great way to feel emotionally strong and resilient in times of stress is to feel connected to a broad community.

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

“And when proclaimed your Lord, “If you are thankful, surely I will increase you; but if you are ungrateful indeed, My punishment (is) surely severe.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)

Closely related to self-esteem and self-concept, self-love is how much we love ourselves. A person with a positive self-concept and high self-esteem are going to love one’s self to a much greater extent than a person with low self-esteem. It is imperative to learn how to love ourselves. To love others, we need to love ourselves first. This isn’t being selfish. How can you let yourself go into ruins while trying to love and please others? Allah says:

الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

“Those who spend in [the] ease and (in) the hardship and those who restrain the anger and those who pardon [from] the people – and Allah loves the good-doers.” (Surah Al-Imran 3:134)

Every person should have a certain aim in life. After all, we were brought into this life for a reason; build this world and work for the hereafter. For that reason, you should set goals and objectives for yourself to conquer. Write them down in a note on your phone or in a journal you keep at hand. Every time you accomplish a goal, you’ll objectively learn more about yourself and figure out ways of improvement Insha’Allah. Allah says:

لَّوْلَا جَاءُوا عَلَيْهِ بِأَرْبَعَةِ شُهَدَاءَ فَإِذْ لَمْ يَأْتُوا بِالشُّهَدَاءِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ عِندَ اللَّهِ هُمُ الْكَاذِبُونَ

“Why (did) not they bring for it four witnesses? Then when not they brought the witnesses, then those near Allah, they (are) the liars.” (Al-Qur’an-24:12-13)

Thank Allah for the countless blessings that He showers upon you every day, and appreciate what you have instead of obsessing over what you wish you had. Also,o thank people for whatever good they do to you and appreciate their thought and effort.