Anger can destroy lives and relationships and Prophet Muhammad called it hot coal on the heart of a descendant of Adam. There is no foolproof way to eliminate anger because it is a natural human emotion. Islam, however, gives us many examples of how to control anger and how to channel it into acceptable actions. There are also distinct advantages to following the guidelines set out in Islam. It pleases God, and the person controlling their anger is rewarded. Allah says:
وَجَزَٰٓؤُا۟ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِّثْلُهَا ۖ فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُۥ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّٰلِمِينَ
“But [remember that an attempt at] requiting evil may, too, become an evil: hence, whoever pardons [his foe] and makes peace, his reward rests with God – for, verily, He does not love evildoers.” (Surah Ash-Shura 42:40)
Anger is a natural feeling it can have negative effects on those who allow it to control them, and adverse effects on those around them. Anger can destroy relationships, health, property, and livelihood. Uncontrolled anger is one of the tools of Satan and it can lead to many evils and tragedies. For this reason, Islam has a great deal to say about the emotion of anger. Allah says:
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
“If an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is Hearing and Knowing.” (Surat al-A’raf 7:200)
Human naturally has an animal instinct which sometimes they get angry and feel hate toward others, but the anger is uncontrollable. It is probably the Shaitan (devil) who manipulates and spreads hatred toward man and make human uncivilized. If a human feels the anger would be uncontrollable, then immediately saying a refuge with Allah from any Shaitan’s manipulation and temptation. Allah says:
وَلَمَّا سَكَتَ عَن مُّوسَى الْغَضَبُ أَخَذَ الْأَلْوَاحَ وَفِي نُسْخَتِهَا هُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلَّذِينَ هُمْ لِرَبِّهِمْ يَرْهَبُونَ
“And when was calmed from Musa the anger, he took (up) the tablets and in their inscription (was) guidance and mercy for those who [they] (are) fearful of their Lord.” (Surah Al-Araf, 7:154)
Living in a world full of pressures makes us suffer from anger tantrums every time. Especially, when we’re living in a big city, which is mostly populated by individualist people, with a high risk of job stress, insane traffic, etc. It all can easily provoke negative emotions around us. The circumstance we need to find at least solutions to reduce our negative emotions because our negative emotions can easily trigger our anger.
There are some inspirational points on anger and how to control it:
- Avoid anger is a strong feeling caused by displeasure
- Avoid anger otherwise, you feel a sense of injustice
- Avoid anger otherwise negative feelings crowd out
- Avoid anger change positions, if you are standing
- Avoid anger otherwise, you can out of control
- Avoid anger forgiveness is a powerful tool
- Avoid anger is a temptation of Shaytaan
- Avoid and seek help for anger issues
- Avoid anger that promotes our stress
- Avoid anger is the root of all evils
- Avoid anger is often so destructive
- Avoid anger only wastes your energy
- Avoid anger stay being calm and silent
- Avoid a violent passion excited by real injury
- Avoid anger otherwise grudges to be prevented
- Avoid and learning to control anger is dangerous
- Avoid anger otherwise, you hurt those around you
- Avoid anger otherwise, you find yourself swallowed up
- Be silent, words spoken in anger cannot be taken back
- Avoid anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and hostility
Anger is a very serious disease, and Islam warns Muslims against its evil consequences. Anger is a matter of choice. We can’t be burst into anger unexpectedly, we choose to be that way. The hadith below told us that our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah may be upon Him) reminded us that Muslims have a choice to decide whether they need to be in anger or not. Allah says:
الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“Those who spend (in God’s Cause) in prosperity and adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon the people; verily, God loves the good-doers.” (Surah Al-Imran 3:134)
Anger is a destabilizing thought. It is the most dividing emotion between friends; it takes away judgment, leads to depression, madness and wrong actions that we would repent later on when we are not angry. Whenever you feel angry or upset, think twice to be in anger. Sometimes, anger can be more toxic than poison. Within minutes, you can destroy your relationship, or even it can occur bloodshed. By bursting into anger, we don’t automatically confirm our power. Allah says:
أَفَمَنِ اتَّبَعَ رِضْوَانَ اللَّهِ كَمَن بَاءَ بِسَخَطٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَمَأْوَاهُ جَهَنَّمُ وَبِئْسَ الْمَصِيرُ
“Is the man who follows the good pleasure of Allah Like the man who draws on himself the wrath of Allah, and whose abode is in Hell?- A woeful refuge! “ (Surah Al-Imran, 3:162)
Anger is a powerful emotion, if it is not controlled properly, then it will destructive to surrounded. Uncontrollable anger leads to arguments, physical fights, physical abuse, assault, and self-harmful. It is as well effect to a long time health problems. For those who can keep away from anger and deal with self-control, Allah promises a great reward. Allah says:
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak goodness or remain silent.” (Ṣaḥiḥ Muslim 47)
Anger is lawful in cases of religious affairs when its honours are at stake. It is an effective preventive measure to safeguard the dignity of man. A person who has no anger is called a coward because he has got no true faith in Allah. The person fears the creation and not the creator. This doesn’t give the right for youngsters to become angry with parents when they don’t get what they want.
Anger is a natural, healthy emotion. However, it can arise out of proportion to its trigger:
- Anger is a temptation of Shaytaan and deception of Shaytaan
- Anger is a violent passion excited by real or supposed injury
- Anger result’s in the destruction of many noble qualities
- Anger becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense
- Anger is a secret weapon of man toward evils
- Anger snatches away the wisdom of man
- Anger responses can become habitual
- Anger is the root of all evils
- Anger is a spark of fire that is always bursting
- Anger is a strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure
- Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, and hostility
- Anger is a very bad condition that weakens the person Iman (FAITH)
- Anger is a rage fierce, displeasure, passion excited by a sense of wrong
- Anger is physical pain, inflammation, mad, hot-tempered, choleric, inflamed
Anger can be caused by both external and internal issues. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a co-worker or supervisor), or your anger could be caused by your problems, such as the remembrance of a disagreement with your spouse or parent. Controlling anger sometimes is very difficult. But forgiving others instead of acting according to one’s anger on such occasions is, Allah, says:
لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
“The strong is not the wrestlers. Verily, the strong are only those who control themselves when they are angry.” (Bukhari 5763)
Shouting, yelling, and swearing when we are burst into anger doesn’t solve anything at all. It only embarrasses you because eventually, people will stay away from you. The best way to spend your emotion is by choosing not to be in anger. in fact, an act of real bravery. It is quite a demanding task to suppress one’s emotions, particularly at the time of burning rage (anger).
How do you express your anger? Consider these questions in gauging your anger responses:
- Do you use drugs to calm yourself down?
- Do you use threatening language or gestures?
- Do you stay angry for long periods (days or hours)?
- Do you get angry enough to hit, throw things or others?
- Do you get angry more often than most people you know?
- Do you get angry and then wonder why you got angry over such a trifle?
- Do you conceal angry feelings from others or try to hold in your feelings?
- Do you experience physical reactions such as muscle tension when angry?
Believe it, anger only gives you more harm than good. When you’re in such bad emotion, your circumstance will be followed by other negativity like frustration, scepticism, cynicism, etc. By understanding that anger is destructive, you need to learn how to prevent yourself from not being in anger. Besides that, anger is so toxic in your relationship with other people. Allah says:
إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ فَاتَّخِذُوهُ عَدُوًّا إِنَّمَا يَدْعُو حِزْبَهُ لِيَكُونُوا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ السَّعِيرِ
“Indeed, the Shaitaan (is) to you an enemy, so take him (as) an enemy. Only he invites his party that they may be among (the) companions (of) the Blaze.” (Surah Fatir 35:6)
Anger is a destructive emotion that can even spoil or permanently damage relationships which can even lead to evil consequences or life tragedies. Anyone who bridles this angry horse and curbs his anger for the sake of Allah, Allah will invite him before all His creation on the Day of Resurrection and will reward him by giving him the choice and option of choosing any one of the Huris (fair-coloured damsels of Paradise). May Allah benefit us from this opportunity. Ameen!