Help in affection for your mate

A Good Husband In Islam

To be a successful Muslim husband, be loving, attentive, and respectful of your spouse. Work with your spouse to uphold your faith. Share your thoughts and feelings, and encourage your partner to do the same. By showing affection, building trust, and paying attention to that which brings you closer to Allah in your spouse, you can be a successful Muslim husband. Allah says:

وَرَاوَدَتْهُ الَّتِي هُوَ فِي بَيْتِهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِ وَغَلَّقَتِ الْأَبْوَابَ وَقَالَتْ هَيْتَ لَكَ قَالَ مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ إِنَّهُ رَبِّي أَحْسَنَ مَثْوَايَ إِنَّهُ لَا يُفْلِحُ الظَّالِمُونَ

And sought to seduce him she who, he (was) in her house from his self. And she closed the doors and she said, “Come on you.” He said, “I seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, he (is) my lord (who has) made good my stay. Indeed, not will succeed the wrongdoers.” (Surah Yusuf 12:23)

The relationship between husband and wife is a special one in Islam. Thus, Islam has many ways how to become a good husband, which were set by the Prophet (peace be upon him) on how he treated his wife. A strong bond between them is nurtured by love, kindness, and mercy. Allah says:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21)

Love strengthens the relationship in a marriage. Don’t be shy to express your love to your wife. Look at her with a loving gaze, tell her that you love her all the time. Do little things to show your love to her such as texting her between work and getting her something (such as little gifts or her favourite foods) when you are coming home from work. Allah says:

وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا

“And give the women their dower graciously. But if they remit to you anything of it (on there) own, then eat it (in) satisfaction (and) ease.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:4)

One way to become a good husband in Islam is by spending quality time with your wife doing both of your favourite activities together. Take a walk around, watch movies, or listen to music. There are many other things that you can enjoy together. Even little talks that make both of you laugh will be enough. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to play a game to spend quality time together with his wives.

Here is a list aimed at Muslim husbands in the hopes that they, too, will benefit and be able to improve their relationships:

  1. Strengthen Your Relationship with Allah
  2. Be friends before you become spouses
  3. Use affectionate language to her
  4. Do activities that you both love
  5. Pay attention to her feeling
  6. Help her in domestic duties
  7. Appreciate the little things
  8. Don’t belittle her desires
  9. Don’t treat her like a fly
  10. Show affection to her
  11. Express your love
  12. Dress up for your wife
  13. Open Your thoughts to her
  14. Learn conflict resolution skills
  15. Treat her with kindness in bed
  16. Thank her for all that she does for you
  17. Smile at your wife whenever you see her
  18. Be humorous and play games with your wife
  19. Share Problems and look for solutions together
  20. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship between a husband in a wife. Talk to her all the time about everything. Share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Be honest to her about everything you feel and tell her your insecurities. Even when you are busy, always make time to talk to her at the end of the day. And if she wants to talk to you, make time for her. Allah says:

لَّا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُوا لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ عَلَى الْمُوسِعِ قَدَرُهُ وَعَلَى الْمُقْتِرِ قَدَرُهُ مَتَاعًا بِالْمَعْرُوفِ حَقًّا عَلَى الْمُحْسِنِينَ

“(There is) no blame upon you if you divorce [the] women whom not you have touched nor you specified for them an obligation (dower). And make provision for them – upon the wealthy according to his means and upon the poor according to his means – a provision in a fair manner, a duty upon the good-doers.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:236)

In Islam, working and other public duties should be done by the husband and domestic duties and household needs are taken care of by the wife. But a good husband would be understanding and flexible. He doesn’t mind helping his wife in doing domestic duties when he is off from work. Allah says:

Aisha (RA) has once said, when she was asked about the Prophet’s manner, “He would be helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.”

Life is full of problems. They come and go endlessly. Whatever problems you face, consult with your wife to find the best solutions together, especially when it may affect you both and your marriage. Even though it has nothing to do with her, make sure you tell her. When you are stuck, she may have thought of a way out that never cross your mind. Allah says:

قَالَ اجْعَلْنِي عَلَىٰ خَزَائِنِ الْأَرْضِ إِنِّي حَفِيظٌ عَلِيمٌ

He said, “Appoint me over (the) treasuries (of) the land. Indeed, I (will be) a guardian knowing.” (Surah Yusuf 12:55)

Besides communication, trust makes a strong foundation for a husband and wife relationship. To build trust, avoid telling lies and always be honest to her. Once she catches you for lying, it’s hard to obtain her trust. Don’t be secretive so that she will open up to you too. From the smallest matters to the most crucial ones, make honesty a habit and way of life. Show that you love and care for your wife by considering her feeling above everything. It’s important to understand her and how she feels. Share happiness and joy, be sympathetic when she is unhappy.

“The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women.”(Tirmidhi)

Expressing love should be hand in hand with showing affection. Since making your wife happy is considered a good deed in Islam, make sure you show your affection to her from time to time. Kissing her forehead and giving a fleeting hug are examples of how to be affectionate to your wife. Return her kiss when she kisses you first. Allah says:

وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِن تُصْلِحُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا

“And never will you be able to deal justly between [the] women even if you desired, but (do) not incline (with) all the inclination and leave her (the other) like the suspended one. And if you reconcile and consciously revere (Allah) then indeed, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Surah an-Nisa 4:129)

Taking care of the kids, cooking, and cleaning the house is harder than you think. Even though you are tired, show your appreciation to acknowledge that she has worked hard too. Naturally compliments her after she serves you food, thanked her for that. Praising her for how beautiful she looks when she tries on new clothes is also a form of compliments and appreciation. Allah says:

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِن بَعْدُ حَتَّىٰ تَنكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا أَن يَتَرَاجَعَا إِن ظَنَّا أَن يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ يُبَيِّنُهَا لِقَوْمٍ يَعْلَمُونَ

“Then if he divorces her, then (she is) not lawful for him from after (that) until she marries a spouse other than him. Then if he divorces her then no sin on them if they return to each other if they believe that they (will be able to) keep (the) limits. (of) Allah. And these (are the) limits. (of) Allah. He makes them clear to people who know.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:230)

There will be a rift in a marriage and it’s unavoidable. Every time it comes, turn to Allah SWT and ask for His help to strengthen your marriage. Thus, strengthening your relationship with Allah SWT will be highly beneficial for your marriage and your life as a whole. Be supportive of each other to become better Muslims. Create a sweet pet name that only you use to call your wife with. It tightens the bond and love between you and your wife.