Hypocrites resort to two-facedness

The Concept of Marriage in Islam

In Islam, marriage is a social and legal relationship intended to strengthen and extend family relationships. Islamic marriage begins with a search for an appropriate partner and is solemnised with an agreement of marriage, the contract, and the wedding party. Islam is a strong advocate of marriage, and the act of marriage is considered a religious duty through which the social unit—the family—is established. Islamic marriage is the only permissible way for men and women to engage in intimacy. Allah says:

وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, for Allah is All-Encompassing and Knowing.” (Surah An-Nur 24:32)

Marriage is an act pleasing to Allah Almighty because it is by his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and raise their children to become true servants of Allah. An important purpose of marriage in Islam is to take comfort in companionship and to bring about happiness. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا

“O mankind, verily, We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.” (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:13)

Marriage is one of the most liked Sunnah in Islam, as our beloved Prophet (SAW) married and also encouraged others. It is a bond of love not only between two persons but between two families. Allah has made partners of all human beings on this earth for making a family. We should trust in Almighty Allah and have to act according to His teachings and the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW).

Islam serves the following  concept of marriage:

  1. Marriage is emotional and psychological gratification
  2. Marriage is a loving and caring spouse and family
  3. Marriage is a context in which we nurture hope
  4. Marriage should serve as a place of refuge
  5. Marriage is a vital part of a Muslim’s life
  6. Marriage away from the act of adultery
  7. Marriage is an economic responsibility
  8. Marriage is optimism and zest for life
  9. Marriage uses the total of his senses
  10. Marriage is legitimate procreation
  11. Marriage is a social solidarity
  12. Marriage makes each other bloom
  13. God wants the human species to flourish
  14. Marriage is an Allah Almighty greatness
  15. Marriage care for each other in all matters
  16. Married people sense each other’s stress
  17. Married people empathise with one another
  18. Married couples love each other for Allah’s sake
  19. Marriage is the means of receiving great rewards
  20. Marriage is securing comfort and sharing the joys

One of the purposes of a Muslim marriage is also to contribute towards a sound and caring society. Since the basic unit of a society is that of a family; consequently, a caring and sound society presupposes a caring and caring family. Islam enjoins its followers to maintain good relations with all of these extended family members. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا 

“And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (Surah Al-Furqan 25:74)

One of the greatest blessings of Allah to man is a nice life partner. No one mirrors our souls to us more accurately than our spouse because no other human being gets to see us as intimately and habitually as they do. As a natural consequence, spouses stand the highest chance of facing our ego: the defensive wrath of our lower selves. But allowing your lower self to prevail in your marriage instead of seeing your marriage as a means to purify yourself is your own (disastrous) choice. Allah says:

Allah Almighty says in The Holy Quran:

  • “And as for your Lord’s favour, then discourse about it! (i.e., proclaim it).” (Quran 93:11)
  • “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts).” (Al-Muminun 23:5)
  • “And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.” (Quran 17:53)
  • “O Humans, revere your Guardian-Lord, Who created you from a single person created of like nature its mate, and from this scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Revere Allah through Whom you claim your mutual rights.” (Quran 4:1).
  • “Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” (Quran, 4:19)
  • “Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) what your right hands possess.” (An-Nisa 4:3)

Marriages begin to go headlong into constant unhappiness when one or both spouses forget this fundamental fact: marriage makes people partners, not parts of each other that must be controlled and bossed over. As unfortunate as the truth may be, your spouse has a lot more roles to play in life than just being your spouse, and whenever you restrict them from doing justice to all their roles, you’re going to be the cause of their constant frustration, which will only spill into your marital relationship.

What is not there to thank your spouse for? Here are 5 reasons to thank your spouse right now:

  1. For providing you with a roof to live under/for making a home out of your house
  2. For buying you clothes to wear/for making sure you have clean clothes to wear every day
  3. For buying you the food you eat every day/for making delicious meals for you every day
  4. For coming back home to you every evening/for being the person you can come home to every day
  5. For being there to take you where you need to go/for being there to take care of the house when you’re away

Happy Muslim couples are partners in growth and productivity: They acknowledge that their spouse is a slave of Allah alone, and marriage does not change that. They acknowledge their spouse’s other roles and responsibilities and encourage them to do justice to all of them. They recognise each other’s unique traits and talents and catalyse their spouse’s growth and worth as an individual. Allah says:

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ 

“… If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)

Marriage is the first and preliminary phase of exit from the (shell of) natural personal self, and the expansion of the human’s personality. Marriage and family raising imprints such an effect upon the existence of man by upgrading the worth of his personality on the way to its maturity, that even his practices and services become more valued and worthier before Allah and the angels, so that their value goes up many times the previous one. Allah says:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ 

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21 )

Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate, and mutual rights of inheritance are established. Allah says:

الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ أُولَٰئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ 

“Evil women (are) for evil men, and evil men (are) for evil women. And good women (are) for good men and good men (are) for good women. Those are innocent of what they say. For them is forgiveness and a provision noble.” (Surah An-Nur 24:26)

Marriage linguistically means to unite and to bring together. Couples that have learned to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone. So if you aren’t doing so already, stop holding back and proclaim to your spouse how grateful you are for them!