All revealed religions consider disobedience to parents one of the greatest of all major sins and warned against such a monstrous act. The rights of parents in Islam is very high. We as Muslims should give respect and love to our parents. Parents are to be treated well at all times this is a virtuous kind of action in the sight of Allah. Islam taught us how to kindly treat our parents for more than one occasion. “Paradise is under mother’s feet” is one saying that turned timeless and proverbial. Allah says:
قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“Say: Come, I will recite what your Lord has made sacred to you. He commands that you do not associate anything with Him and to be good to your parents.” (Surah Al-Anam 6:151)
Parents and children in Islam are bonded together by mutual obligations. Allah mentions that human beings must recognize their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. They deserve to be loved and honoured in return. Islam considers dutifulness to parents one of the deeds that lead to Paradise. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
“And We have enjoined (on) man goodness to his parents, but if they both strive against you to make you associate with Me what not you have of it any knowledge, then (do) not obey both of them. To Me (is) your return, and I will inform you about what you used (to) do.” (Soorat Al-‛Ankaboot, 29:8)
The only thing that we can do is to acknowledge our shortcomings and submit ourselves, in obedience and loyalty, before our parents. Every Muslim must show kindness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. It is obligatory for children to show love, respect, and gratitude to their parents. Always speaks to parents gently and respectfully. Allah says:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and thy parents; to Me is thy final goal.” (Surah Luqman, 31:14)
A Muslim must obey his parents in everything unless they ask him to do something which Allah has forbidden. In this case, he must not obey them but must still be kind to them. Like every other human being on Earth, parents crave love and deserve respect. To bring a child to life, the mother goes through sleepless nights, uncomfortable mornings and excruciating birth pains. Allah says:
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:36)
Our Parents as a team provided for all our needs: Physical, Educational, Psychological, and in many instances, Religious, Moral, and Spiritual. It becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost Kindness, Respect, and Obedience to our Parents.
Here are some important rights of parents:
- The consequences of disobedience to parents are faced in this world
- Even the slightest jester of rudeness to parents is condemnable
- Respectful & courteous treatment with father’s brother
- Service to parents has priority over optional Jihad
- Children’s invocation for their departed parents
- Service to parents earns the goodwill of Allah
- Parents are the pave-way to Paradise or Hell
- Father is the Central Gateway to Paradise
- Mother has precedence over father
- A reward of service to mother
- A reward of keeping parents happy
- The reward of an approved pilgrimage
- Parents pleasure leads to Allah’s goodwill
- Paradise lies beneath the feet of the mother
- Children & their wealth belong to the parents
- Longevity is granted for obedience to parents
- Charity by off-springs can benefit the dead parents
- Gates of Paradise open for those obedient to parents
- Service to parents is no less than an optional pilgrimage
- Prayers for the forgiveness of the parents after their death
Rights of Parents according to Quran:
- “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] ‘off’ [i.e., an expression of irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: ‘My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.’” (Quran 17:23-24)
- “And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents…” (Quran 29:8 & 46:15)
- ”…My Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured and sustained me in childhood.” (Quran 17:24)
- Allah ﷻ says, “Your Lord has decreed that you should worship none but Him and that you should show kindness to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not utter the slightest harsh word to them out of irritation and do not be harsh with them but speak to them with gentleness and generosity.” (Soorat Al-Israa’, 17:23)
- Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. (17:23)
A Muslim is required to obey his parents and show kindness to them even if they are not Muslim, as the Qur’an states, Allah says:
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ ثُمَّ إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
“But if they strive against you on that you associate partners with Me what not you have of it any knowledge, then (do) not obey both of them. But accompany them in the world (with) kindness, and follow (the) path (of him) who turns to Me. Then towards Me (is) your return, I will inform you of what you used (to) do.” (Soorah Luqmaan,31:15)
Let us pray to Allah (SWT) that we do our best to respect our parents, honour them, be kind to them, and please them so that we may gain the love of Allah Almighty. May Allah (SWT) grant us the Divine success that we may come be regarded amongst those who have been good towards their parents. May also Allah guide us to be respectful, loving and kind to our parents so that we always stay humble and respectful regardless of the power, wealth, position and influence we may possess. Ameen!
