Parents treat with courtesy

The Concept of Parents as a Role Model

Children are born without social knowledge or social skills, and they eagerly look for someone to imitate. That “someone” is usually one or both parents. Parents are a child’s first teachers and role models. And usually, children are more affected by what their parents do than by what their parents say. They learn how to behave by seeing how their mothers and fathers behave and by following their example. Allah says:

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

“And We have enjoined (upon) man for his parents – carried him his mother (in) weakness upon weakness, and his weaning (is) in two years that “Be grateful to Me and your parents; towards Me (is) the destination.” (Surah Al-Isra` 17:23)

This is an extremely important aspect of Islam and should not be ignored. Good morals are the key to a virtuous life. The child should be taught about noble characteristics such as honesty, kindness, justice, contentment, etc. He should be taught to avoid jealousy, backbiting, greed, extravagance, etc. a small reminder, or a simple discussion often makes a lasting impression. Allah says:

فَتَبَسَّمَ ضَاحِكًا مِّن قَوْلِهَا وَقَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَدْخِلْنِي بِرَحْمَتِكَ فِي عِبَادِكَ الصَّالِحِينَ

“So he smiled – laughing at her speech and said, “My Lord! Grant me (the) power that I may thank You (for) Your Favor which You have bestowed on me and my parents and that I may do righteous (deeds), that will please You. And admit me by Your Mercy among Your slaves righteous.” (Surah An-Naml 27:19)

The term role model generally means any “person who serves as an example, whose behaviour is emulated by others”.Parents must be positive, pro-social models that lead by example so that their children learn to be emotionally intelligent and deal with all kinds of people while nurturing loving relationships as they grow up. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“And We have enjoined (upon) man for his parents – carried him his mother (in) weakness upon weakness, and his weaning (is) in two years that “Be grateful to Me and your parents; towards Me (is) the destination.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)

We do lots of mistakes at this age, we try to convince parents every time for our activities with the outer world. Doing any other activity that parents think is not good. In this, our parents are only tense about the bad company. They want to know at this age from you what you’re doing, where you’re going, what you’re eating/drinking, who is with you etc. And the tension is for you.

Parenting can be tough, but one of the most basic ways we can raise our children is simply by being a good role model for them:

  1. Parents play an important role in social, and career development
  2. Parents can share more of the choices and decision-making
  3. Parents should display non-aggressive responses to stress
  4. Parents should have personal qualities and achievements
  5. Parents can serve as consistent and evolving role models
  6. Parents are in a time of mistakes, they are like a teacher
  7. Parents trained children hard style for future challenges
  8. Parents do everything to see the smile on children face
  9. Parents may find as a constructive example of change
  10. Parents can be role models for learning  into daily life
  11. Parents who admit to their mistakes, learn from them
  12. Parents develop fun and engage in family activities
  13. Parents can influence children’s emotional growth
  14. Parents can encourage to address their concerns
  15. Parents should display an anger management
  16. Parents are real God and the first teacher
  17. Parents are often subjects of admiration
  18. Parents should stay active in their lives
  19. Parents never speak with a loud voice
  20. Parents can impart values influences
  21.  Parents provide everything helpful
  22. Parents treat with courtesy 
  23. Parents  help in every step of life
  24. Parents teach the value of health
  25. Parents help to make us educated
  26. Parents practice respect and tolerance
  27. Parents have to keep a positive outlook
  28. Parents treat well relatives during their life 
  29. Parents see educational and moral prepping
  30. Parents practice positive communication skills
  31. Parents slapped on us when the child did wrong
  32. Parents guidance and support help to live the life
  33. Parents protecting their honour and moral values
  34. Parents do all the sacrifices and reduce their living
  35. Parents are the most precious gift of God for humans
  36. Parents fulfilling financial obligations or commitments
  37. Parents take the time to listen and share their concerns
  38. Parents play a big role in the direction of life and career
  39. Parents teach practically and theoretically about the rituals
  40. Parents do almost all the things to make well respected in society

This is an extremely important aspect of Islam and should not be ignored. Good morals are the key to a virtuous life. The child should be taught about noble characteristics such as honesty, kindness, justice, contentment, etc. He should be taught to avoid jealousy, backbiting, greed, extravagance, etc. a small reminder, or a simple discussion often makes a lasting impression. Allah says:

الَّذِينَ إِن مَّكَّنَّاهُمْ فِي الْأَرْضِ أَقَامُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتَوُا الزَّكَاةَ وَأَمَرُوا بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَنَهَوْا عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَلِلَّهِ عَاقِبَةُ الْأُمُورِ

“Those who, if We establish them in the land they establish the prayer y give and the zakah and they enjoin the right and forbid from the wrong. And for Allah (is the) end (of) the matters.” (Surah Al-Haj 22:41)

Many children remember the advice given to them by their parents and grandparents long into adulthood. Parents should never underestimate the effect of their words and deeds on the hearts of their children. The responsibility assigned to each one is indicated by the duties of each of them, and each duty of each member is a right for the other.  Allah says:

وَلِكُلٍّ جَعَلْنَا مَوَالِيَ مِمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ وَالَّذِينَ عَقَدَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ فَآتُوهُمْ نَصِيبَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدًا

“And for all We heirs of what (is) left (by) the parents and the relatives. And those who pledged your right hands – then give them their share. Indeed, Allah is over everything a Witness.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:33)

Being the parent you should ensure that you meet nice people, people who are God-fearing, who follow Right Islam and make sure that your children are friends with their children. In this way for them keeping the beard, or wearing abaya won`t be alien as they`ll see many more friends of their doing the same, this would solve their peer problems too. Allah says:

وَأَنفِقُوا فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلَا تُلْقُوا بِأَيْدِيكُمْ إِلَى التَّهْلُكَةِ وَأَحْسِنُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

“And spend in (the) way (of) Allah and (do) not throw (ourselves) [with your hands] into [the] destruction. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the good-doers.” (Surah Al-Baqara 2:195)

Being parents you should always try to figure out the core reason why your children want something or behave in a particular manner and then provide alternatives. Bad companies of people and friends drive our life in the wrong direction. So, at this age, it is really important to us that we communicate our feelings to parents. And parents also need to talk to their kids in their teenage.

Allah Almighty says in The Holy Quran:

وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ وَلَمْ يَكُن جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا

“And dutiful to his parents, and not he was a tyrant disobedient.” (Maryam 19:14)

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and be kind to parents.” (An-Nisa 4:36)

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers (on) the Day will (be) established the account.” (Ibrahim 14:41)

وَأَمَّا الْغُلَامُ فَكَانَ أَبَوَاهُ مُؤْمِنَيْنِ فَخَشِينَا أَن يُرْهِقَهُمَا طُغْيَانًا وَكُفْرًا

“And as for the boy his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them (by) transgression and disbelief.” (Al-Kahf 18:80)

جَنَّاتُ عَدْنٍ يَدْخُلُونَهَا وَمَن صَلَحَ مِنْ آبَائِهِمْ وَأَزْوَاجِهِمْ وَذُرِّيَّاتِهِمْ وَالْمَلَائِكَةُ يَدْخُلُونَ عَلَيْهِم مِّن كُلِّ بَابٍ

“Gardens of Eden, they will enter them and whoever (were) righteous among their fathers and their spouses, and their offsprings. And the Angels will enter upon them from every gate.” (Surah Ar-Ra`d 13:23)

We should take care of your parents. Always talk to them, never ignore them for others. Feel proud of your parents. Respect their views, follow their guidelines, and communicate with them about your problems. This world not going to give you anything, everything remains on this planet but parents are not with us all the time. We all have to go one day. Allah says:

لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ مِمَّا قَلَّ مِنْهُ أَوْ كَثُرَ نَصِيبًا مَّفْرُوضًا

“For the men a portion of what (is) left (by) the parents, and the near relatives and for the women a portion of what (is) left (by) parents and the near relatives of what (is) little of it or much – a portion obligatory.” (Surah an-Nisa 4:7)

Be grateful to your parents. It is one of the cardinal principles of good manners and the acknowledgement of debt. One should be grateful to the parents for all the kindness, extraordinary love, and unparalleled sacrifices they undergo in bringing us up. From a limited scope the family pillars are; the parents or spouses and the offspring. Allah says:

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Say: Come, I will recite what your Lord has made sacred to you. He commands that you do not associate anything with Him and to be good to your parents.” (Surah Al-An’am 6:151)

Parents are the real leader in our life and they never show off this to us and never dominate our feelings. Parents try to make the balance in our emotional persistence that helps to improve tough situations faster. A child learns good manners more easily when “please” and “thank you” are a part of daily life.