Do not let the parents in trouble and poverty

Respect your Parents

Parents are given a special status of respect in every culture and religion. And why shouldn’t it be that way? The mother carries the child in her womb and bears pain and sufferings for the child. Both the parents try their best to provide for the emotional, physical, educational, material and psychological needs of the child. A wonderful fact is that their love for their children is unconditional. Allah says:

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

“And has decreed your Lord, that (do) not worship except Him Alone and to the (be) good. Whether reach with you the old age one of them, or both of them, then (do) not say to both of them a word of disrespect and (do) not repel them, but speak to them a word noble.” (Surah Al-Isra` 17:23)

Honouring your father and mother is being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for their position. The Greek word for honour means “to revere, prize, and value.” Honour is giving respect not only for merit but also for rank. Allah says:

لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ مِمَّا قَلَّ مِنْهُ أَوْ كَثُرَ نَصِيبًا مَّفْرُوضًا

“For the men a portion of what (is) left (by) the parents, and the near relatives and for the women a portion of what (is) left (by) parents and the near relatives of what (is) little of it or much – a portion obligatory.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:7)

For example, some Americans may disagree with the President’s decisions, but they should still respect his position as leader of their country. Similarly, children of all ages should honour their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents “deserve” honour.

These are things we should do to perform well toward our parents:

  1. No loud voice, moreover saying only “ah” is forbidden by Allah
  2. Ask for something according to their capabilities and abilities
  3. Always make time to diligently stay in touch and visit them
  4. Help both parents to do something without being ordered
  5. Do not use parents belonging without their permission
  6. Do not sit in a place higher than them
  7. No, repel them in a loud voice
  8. Not being arrogant toward parents
  9. Do not neglect parents alone at home
  10. Do not let the parents in trouble and poverty
  11. Does not show an annoyed face if his wish is not fulfilled by both parents
  12. Always connecting on the relationship with parents relatives or friends after their death
  13. Refusing to do something ordered by parents with a loud rejection voice and a sour face
  14. Always pray of goodness toward both parents by asking for mercy and forgiveness to Allah SWT
  15. Do not quarrel with fellow brothers or sisters with a loud voice, snap at each other even fighting since this will hurt parents.

Honour begets honour. God will not honour those who will not obey His command to honour their parents. If we desire to please God and be blessed, we should honour our parents. Honoring is not easy, is not always fun, and certainly is not possible in our own strength. But honour is a certain path to our purpose in life—glorifying God. Allah says:

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers (on) the Day will (be) established the account.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:41)

Islam realizes the importance of parents and emphasizes their rights. It is obligatory for believers to be kind to their parents in every situation. There are numerous verses in Qur’an which stress the importance of being warm and caring towards parents. A child should respect and appreciate his or her parents every day throughout the year. Allah has asked human beings to recognize their parents after recognition of Allah Himself.

Here are some Quran verses about  respecting parents:

  • “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Quran 46:15)
  • “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbour, the neighbour farther away, the companion at your side, the traveller, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.” (QS. An-Nisa: 36)
  • “And We have enjoined upon man (care) for his parents. His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, to Me is the (final) destination.” (QS. Luqman: 14)
  • “And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.” (QS. Al-‘Ankabut: 8)
  • “They ask you, (O Muhammad), what they should spend. Say, “Whatever you spend of goods is (to be) for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveller. And whatever you do of good – indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.” (QS. Al-Baqarah: 215)

Be grateful to your parents. It is one of the cardinal principles of good manners and the acknowledgement of debt. One should be grateful to the parents for all the kindness, extraordinary love, and unparalleled sacrifices hey undergo in bringing us up. The Almighty has decreed that when we render thanks to Him, we should express gratitude to our parents as well.

Some Practical Ways to Honor Your Parents

  • Doing What Is Expected
  • Doing What Is Deserved
  • Doing What Honors God
  • Seek Their Wisdom
  • Speak Well of Them
  • Support Them
  • Forgive Them
  • Provide for Them
  • Doing What Benefits the Family
  • Honour to Whom Honor Is Due
  • Esteem them Publicly and Privately

There is no justification for being disrespectful to parents when Allah forbids it even when they do not believe in Him! They are human beings and, if due to any circumstances, there has been an injustice done to you them by, learn to forgive. Allah says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

“And We have enjoined (on) man goodness to his parents, but if they both strive against you to make you associate with Me what not you have of it any knowledge, then (do) not obey both of them. To Me (is) your return, and I will inform you about what you used (to) do.” (Surah Al-`Ankabut 29:8)

Be humble, patient, kind and affectionate towards them and always remember the innumerable sacrifices they did for you. God calls every child of every age to show honour to our parents, to refuse to dishonour our parents. He calls us to respect them as the outflow of honouring him.