Forgiving helps us to increase tolerance

The Concept of Forgive Yourself in Islam

Once in our lifetime, every one of us has done something which we regret. We can neither go back to the past and fix it nor can we get over it that easily. When we think about it we realize that it was all due to a heat of the moment. Islam is a religion of peace, and relating to peace it incorporates the beautiful concept of forgiveness. The meaning of forgiveness is Islam is two-fold. First, forgiveness refers to a display of Allah’s mercy when His servants ask for forgiveness and repent after sinning. Allah says:

وَجَزَاءُ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِّثْلُهَا فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ الظَّالِمِينَ

“(The) recompense (of) an evil (is) an evil like it. But whoever pardons and makes reconciliation, then his reward (is) on Allah. Indeed, He (does) not like the wrongdoers.” (Surah Ash-Shura 42:40)

God is not quick to judgment. God gives time. He forebears and is patient to see His servant return to Him. The feeling of guilt eventually eats us up. It gets more difficult for us to survive with mental peace. So, you need to learn how to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, to whom you did or why you did unless and until you forgive yourself you will have this constant feeling of guilt and restlessness. Allah directly commands us to show forgiveness to our fellow human beings. Allah says:

فَمَن تَابَ مِن بَعْدِ ظُلْمِهِ وَأَصْلَحَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ يَتُوبُ عَلَيْهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ 

“Whoever repents after his transgression and corrects himself, then Allah shall relent towards him. Surely, Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful.” (Surah Al-Maidah 5:39)

Human beings have always been selfish. We tend not to forgive others easily for their wrong deeds and let them suffer. Forgiving is the only way you can set yourself free from the burden of guilt you have been carrying for a long time. Forgiveness is when we ultimately stop blaming others or ourselves for what we did in past, how we broke someone’s heart or betrayed someone and living in the present to create a better tomorrow.

Forgive ourselves for hurting someone especially the one you love:

  1. Forgiveness offers an exercise for mastering a complex emotion
  2. Forgiveness can help in self-forgiveness, both inside and out
  3. Forgiveness vivid imagining of how forgiveness would feel
  4. Forgiveness is the best to right any outstanding wrongs
  5. Forgiveness helps the situation and ignoring a problem
  6. Forgiveness protect ourselves from negative emotions
  7. Forgiveness comfortable to believe in anything wrong
  8. Forgiveness apologize to anyone you may have hurt
  9. Forgiveness plan to make amends in different tasks
  10. Forgiveness know that this error doesn’t define you
  11. Forgiveness gives those you’ve wronged space
  12. Forgiveness helps us evolve into better people
  13. Forgiveness remember that it’s okay to feel 
  14. Forgiveness keeps you own your mistakes
  15. Forgiveness acknowledges our mistake
  16. Forgiveness offer remorse to others
  17. Forgiveness learn from your mistakes
  18. Forgiveness practice what you preach
  19. Forgiving helps us to increase tolerance
  20. Forgiveness draws out into even deeper trouble
  21. Forgiveness repair the situation in the right  way
  22. Forgiveness helps us to see good qualities in all
  23. Forgiveness finds strength in knowing to be kind
  24. Forgiveness helps us to cultivate a united society
  25. Forgiveness has a way to climb out and help to heal
  26. Forgiveness struggles with admitting something bad
  27. Forgiveness evolute towards becoming a better person
  28. Forgiveness serves a purpose and tends to understand
  29. Forgiveness step fully into your culpability and admit fault
  30. Forgiveness values our emotion and belief in good behaviours

God is full of love and mercy and is ever Merciful. God will not ignore the good of any person. But if He wishes to forgive any sinner, He has full freedom to do that. His mercy is unlimited and His love is infinite. We need God’s mercy and forgiveness all the time. It is wrong to assume at any time that one will find eternal salvation without the forgiveness of God.

How To Forgive Yourself And Live Life Without Regrets?

  • You need to come clean and let everything how it started
  • No one deserves to suffer because of what you did
  • Honestly is the foundation of all relationships
  • Talk to yourself when you are in a dilemma
  •  Never lose respect even in your own eyes
  • Make you feel a little lighter and guilt-free
  • Acceptance plays a key role here
  • Calm yourself down and then go
  • Accept your faults then go and talk 
  • Share your problems with someone
  • You are the best judge to assess yourself
  • Always keep in mind that you are not an evil person
  • When you are hard you cannot solve the matter gently
  • Remember that you are not the villain in someone else’s life 
  • Trust and helps to figure out a lot of things in the pros and cons

Start thinking about your career and forget about the downsides of your past experiences. See the positive side of it. This includes how you have learned so much from your past mistakes and how brave you are now. Build your confidence and discover your passion. Do something helpful to yourself and that is how you let go of the past and forgive yourself.

We would become more forgiving by following Allah:

  • Allah Teaches Us Forgiveness: Such is the mercy of Allah that He knows we have sinned, yet He teaches us how to seek forgiveness.
  • Turn to Allah Before You Return To Him: By repenting on our sins we can decide to return to Allah’s guidance. Allah is very merciful.
  • Forgive Others And You Will Be Forgiven: Allah is to us the way we are to His servants. If we forgive Allah’s creation, Allah would forgive us.
  • The Most Merciful Person: The Prophet SAW said “Powerful is not the fighter who defeats another fighter, but it is the persons who take control of himself whilst he is angry”
  • Forgiveness Is Personal, Not Mutual: There is no selfless good deed. Our benefit is associated with forgiveness that serves as an incentive to display forgiveness.
  • We Should Forgive For Our Benefit: Not forgiving others shows that we are timid. We should be generous enough to forgive and reap the rewards.
  • We Must Keep Our Hearts Pure: Constantly seeking forgiveness from Allah can help us to keep our hearts pure and ready to accept other commands of Allah.
  • We Make Mistakes Too: We should accept others by forgiving them for we need acceptance too.
  • In The End, Life Goes On: We have no choice but to let go of what others did to us and to live the upcoming moments to the fullest.
  • Never Sin On the Hope For Forgiveness: We may not get the time to repent after sinning, as we don’t know when is death going to consume us. The best way to be prepared is to not to commit sins.

Happiness tells us something is going right and encourages us to connect with others. Sadness informs us that we’ve lost something. It’s the same with guilt. If you are already excelling in your career you might consider coming into a relationship.

Here are some ways to forgive yourself:

Focus on your emotions: You need to acknowledge and process your emotions. Give yourself permission to recognize and accept the feelings that have been triggered in you and welcome them.

Acknowledge the mistake out loud: If you make a mistake and continue to struggle with letting it go, acknowledge out loud what you learned from the mistake. You also imprint in your mind what you learned from your actions and consequences.

Think of each mistake as a learning experience: Reminding ourselves that we did the best we could with the tools and knowledge we had at the time, will help us forgive ourselves and move forward.

Have a conversation with your inner critic: Journaling can help you understand your inner critic and develop self-compassion. Make a list of the qualities you like about yourself, including your strengths and skills.

Get clear about what you want: If the mistake you made hurt another person, you need to determine the best course of action. One study found that forgiving ourselves for hurting another is easier if we first make amends.

Take your advice: Oftentimes, it’s easier to tell someone else what to do than to take our advice. You get to be the advice-giver and practice telling your friend how to move on.

Show kindness and compassion: If your first response to a negative situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion.

Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to forgive yourself, you may benefit from talking to a professional.

You deserve to be happy; leave the past behind and enjoy your present. Life is meant to be fantastic; you can live your life the way you choose to do it, be delighted and enjoy your journey. If you are already in a relationship make efforts to make it much stronger. And take it to the next level. Spend some quality time with your friends and family. Also, don’t forget to talk to your inner voice whenever needed.

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran, how to forgive yourself:

  • “And He wishes to forgive you.” (Quran 4:146)
  • “Allah wishes to accept your repentance…” (Nisa, 4:27)
  • “My Lord, indeed I have wronged myself, so forgive me.” (Quran, 28:16)
  • “And whoever does not repent, they are the wrongdoers.” (Quran 49:11)
  • “Do not despair of God’s mercy; He will forgive you of all your sins.” (Quran:39:53)
  • “Say: If you love Allah, then follow me. Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 3:31)
  • “And despair not of Allah’s mercy; surely none despairs of Allah’s mercy except the unbelieving people.” (Quran 12:87)
  • “Except those who repent after that and amend, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran, 3:89)

Life is a difficult test. Finding the peace of self-forgiveness is easier said than done. But before you give in to the devil of despair, and give up on yourself, open your heart for a minute and listen. Reciting these Quranic prayers for repentance makes it more likely to be accepted by Allah SWT. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَائِرَ الْإِثْمِ وَالْفَوَاحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ

“And those who avoid (the) greater sins and the immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive.” (Surah Ash-Shura 42:37)

Islam emphasizes justice and punishment of the wrongdoers, but it equally strongly emphasizes mercy, kindness and love. We must keep in mind that as much as we need God’s forgiveness for our sins and mistakes, we must also practice forgiveness toward those who do wrong to us. No matter how sinful we are, Allah is willing to forgive us if we repent and never repeat the sin. Allah says:

إِنَّمَا التَّوْبَةُ عَلَى اللَّهِ لِلَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ السُّوءَ بِجَهَالَةٍ ثُمَّ يَتُوبُونَ مِن قَرِيبٍ فَأُولَٰئِكَ يَتُوبُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا 

“Repentance with Allah is only for those who do evil in ignorance, then turn (to Allah) soon, so these it is to whom Allah turns (mercifully), and Allah is ever Knowing, Wise.” (Sura An-Nisa 4:17)

God has granted intellect to human beings. The intellect entails responsibility. The more intellect a person has, the more he/she is responsible. Islam speaks about two elements of forgiveness: a) God’s forgiveness; b) Human forgiveness. We need both because we do wrong in our relations to God as well as in our relations with each other.