Parents should guide all the areas of life

Parenting Through An Islamic Perspective

Based on the Islamic thought, God is the main carer and nurturer of the infants, and parents as they nurture way pavers can achieve the best outcomes by fulfilling their duties and invoking God for his assistance and grace. The infant is the sign of God’s trust and grace to the parents, the parents should make their best to raise a healthy and righteous child. Allah Says:

لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ وَلِلنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالْأَقْرَبُونَ مِمَّا قَلَّ مِنْهُ أَوْ كَثُرَ نَصِيبًا مَّفْرُوضًا

“For the men a portion of what (is) left (by) the parents, and the near relatives and for the women a portion of what (is) left (by) parents and the near relatives of what (is) little of it or much – a portion obligatory.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:7)

Parenting is one of the most important, challenging and rewarding responsibilities in a couple’s life. Parenting is indeed an immense task, to ensure that a home is ‘happy’, the parents themselves should uphold proper Islamic ethics. As well, parents must communicate with each other, in a clear, open manner. Children who feel loved will return the compassion they receive. Allah Says:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

“And We have enjoined (on) man goodness to his parents, but if they both strive against you to make you associate with Me what not you have of it any knowledge, then (do) not obey both of them. To Me (is) your return, and I will inform you about what you used (to) do.” (Surah Al-‘Ankabut 29:8)

Parenting is not simply a profession. It is a part of the fulfilment of the divine will within humans. Parenting is an ever-demanding task. Islam’s approach to life is holistic. Islam has a unique way of preparing the younger generation of human beings for their future role. The hadith that ‘no parent can give the child a better gift than good manners. good characters and good education’.

Here are some principles that are essential to ingrain while we undertake our daily tasks of caring for our children:

  1. Parents to guide their children to choose their role models wisely
  2. Parents realize about bad and good that effect and let them down
  3. Parents  are encouraged to address them in the best manner
  4. Parents should have clear communication and consistency
  5. Parents should positive encouragement and empowerment
  6. Parents should set boundaries to guide their behaviour
  7. Parents develop a sense of belonging and be a useful
  8. Parents teach the child to be reliable and productive
  9. Parents equally involved in raising the children
  10. Parents have a responsibility to lead and guide
  11. Parents are kind and merciful to children
  12. Parents aim to children need boundaries
  13. Parents are guides and role models
  14. Parents should spend quality time together
  15. Parents play a vital role as their children’s first
  16. Parents should provide children with constant love
  17. Parents should draw the line in children’s behaviour
  18. Parents should make children aware of the consequences
  19. Parents try overall wellbeing and the education of the child
  20. Parents should teaching children responsibility and respect
  21. Parents give him purpose instead of acting up out of frustration
  22. Parents make him feel a role in society instead of feeling useless
  23. Parents take the responsibility to ensure grows on and obeys Allah
  24. Parents help to teach children about being responsible for their actions
  25. Parents charged children with the responsibility to lead, guide and take care

Allah has put in every person the good tendencies and bad tendencies, so parents must encourage and grow the good tendencies in the child so he can become a useful person that helps himself and his people. A home without proper knowledge of Islam is home of hopelessness and misguidance.
Studying the deen will help guide and nurture children to become upright Muslims. Allah says:

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

“And know that your wealth and your children (are) a trial. And that Allah – with Him (is) a reward great.” (Surah Al-Anfal 8:28)

We help our children in this world and to give them that head start is things which we need to take into consideration to teach them. And the protection of yourself and your family from hellfire won’t be with anything but the good education, the practice of good morals, and the guidance to nobility. Allah says:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:36)

Islamic teachings can be incorporated into daily routines from birth. For example, the mother can recite ‘Bismillah’ with the child before beginning any task and can say other small prayers.

What is parenting?: It is of vital importance that we instil Islamic teachings into our children as soon as possible. In a nutshell, parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.

Communicating with children: Frequent communication is the basis of a parent-child relationship. It goes a long way to strengthen the parent-child relationship. They must feel convenient to the extent that they look forward to spending time with us.

Create a proper homely environment: Children raised in a ‘happy’ home usually become stronger, better Muslims. They more easily adapt the Islamic ideals and uphold common courtesy and etiquette that should be the standard for every Muslim.

Childrearing and discipline in Islam: Muslims believe that through our words, our soothing, our chores, all of the small kindnesses of a mother and father, Allah elicits from our worship and forgives us our sins.

Physical security & development: Positive parenting is an approach whereby parents try to raise their children based on mutual understanding whilst recognising and respecting the rights of each other in the parent-child relationship.

Developing good character: Parents should lead not only to avoid bad deeds for children but also to idolatry. Parents should develop a good character such as helping each other, do charity, empathy, justice, and many more as long as parallel with Islamic rules.

Here are some methods for moral preparation:

Showing the values of good deeds and their effects on the individuals and society; also showing the effects of bad deeds, all within the child’s capability of understanding.

  • Encouraging the child’s sense of belonging to the Muslim nation
  • Parents should be a good example of their behaviour
  • Parents should be sayings rvalues in their deeds
  • Teaching the child the religious principles
  • Growing the feeling of love of Allah
  • Treating children nicely and kindly
  • Teaching him to care for Muslims in any land
  • Tutoring child in worship with understanding
  • Teaching the children the history of the Prophet (PBUH)
  • Encouraging children to sympathize with Muslim problems
  • Parents must teach their children to select a good company

The best gift to a child by his parents is his proper upbringing. A child brought up with the love and affection of both parents. Their prime duty is to raise them to the best of their ability to be leaders of this Ummah, to teach them how to live as a Muslim in all aspects of their lives-in school, in a playground, with parents, siblings, and friends and in all other avenues of life as they grow up. Allah says:

جَنَّاتُ عَدْنٍ يَدْخُلُونَهَا وَمَن صَلَحَ مِنْ آبَائِهِمْ وَأَزْوَاجِهِمْ وَذُرِّيَّاتِهِمْ وَالْمَلَائِكَةُ يَدْخُلُونَ عَلَيْهِم مِّن كُلِّ بَابٍ

“Gardens of Eden, they will enter them and whoever (were) righteous among their fathers and their spouses, and their offsprings. And the Angels will enter upon them from every gate,” (Surah Ar-Ra`d 13:23)

Parents of the current generation have great responsibility upon their shoulder to raise the sincere and true inheritors of Islam. They need to put their utmost efforts to safeguard the children from the tyranny of the world.

Quran lays stress on feeling grateful to parents and doing good to them. Allah says:

  • “And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents.” (Ankabut 29:8)
  • “And dutiful to his parents, and not he was a tyrant disobedient.” (Quran 19:14)
  • “And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents…” (Quran 29:8 & 46:15)
  • “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good…” (Quran 4:36)
  • “And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.” (Quran, 8:28)
  • “…No mother should be harmed through her child and no father through his child…” (Quran 2: 233)

It is not simply enough to “make children” rather be considered as a parent be it a mother or father. One must rise to the occasions and ensure that their children have had all aspects of their lives taken care of both the temporal aspects and also the spiritual arena nurtured and maintained to the best of the parents’ abilities.

Importance of Parents In Islam; Respecting parents is one of the most significant aspects of Islam:

  • Create positive thoughts about your parents
  • Appreciate every little thing they do for you
  • Never express a word of disgust to them
  • Never argue with them, nor blame them
  • Being patient and tolerant with parents
  • Respect their opinions and principles
  • Speak humbly yourself before them
  • Serve them as much as you can
  • Consult them in your affairs
  • Apologize to them if you fail to do so
  • Respond to them quickly with a smile 
  • Never speak to them with a loud voice
  • Be patient with them when they are old
  • Honour them and guard their reputation
  • If they err, show them politely their error
  • Treat with courtesy your parents’ friends

Islam does not distinguish between male and female about the Education requirements. The good education means the physical, mental and moral preparation of the child so he can become a good individual in a good society.  Allah says:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“And lower to them (the) wing (of) humility (out) of [the] mercy and say, “My Lord! Have mercy on both of them as they brought me up (when I was) small.” (Surah Al-Isra17: 24)

Every Muslim can take care of his children and know the correct path that must be followed, so we can do the job we are entrusted to do as Allah proscribed, as well as the responsibility the prophet has clarified to protect the future generations of Muslims.  Allah says:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surat An-Nisa 4:36)

Stand up against wrong-doings, and will also be able to express themselves effectively. However, we can do our best to equip them with the prerequisites to be able to enter into the spiritual and temporal worlds with both feet firmly placed in the footsteps of the Qur’an, the Prophetic traditions. May Allah help us all in this journey of life.