Understand Each Other

Habits of Happy Married Life in Islam

Humans are created to pair with each other, and most people who had found their pair are going to marriage to reach the three conditions of the happy family: sakinah (peaceful), mawaddah (loving and hopeful), and warahmah (affectionate).In Islam, one of the major parts of the life of a person is getting married. Both males and females are encouraged to get married in Islam at the earliest. As a people, we are never been free from the problem. When we found that there is something wrong in marriage life, the only thing must do is face it, and fix it. When we found the source of the problem, together with our spouse, discuss it and find a way out together. Allah says:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا

“And if you fear dissension between (the) two of then send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If they both wish reconciliation, Allah will cause reconciliation between both of them. Indeed, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware.” (Surah an-Nisa 4:35)

The increasing rate of divorce in the Western world is all because no institute could provide them with guidelines on how to live in a relationship where both the partners can contribute to the happiness of each other, share sorrows and take life forward. In this regard, Muslims are truly blessed, as Allah Almighty has given instructions to Muslims on how they can have a healthy marital relationship and live according to the Islamic way of life. Allah says:

وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

“And marry the single among you and the righteous among your male slaves and your female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty. And Allah (is) All-Encompassing, All-Knowing.” (Surah An-Nur 24:32)

Marriage is uniting two different types of people. We will never avoid the conflict or problem inside of our marriage; the one and the only way is to face and solve it. If we found that our spouse is in bad condition such as angry, anxious, sad, or anything that affects anything, we should understand the condition. After a moment that our spouse can be talk, we can ask them things that bothered our spouse. The most important is we invite our spouse to worship or pray to Allah (SWT) because Allah is the one who gives a solution. Allah says:

وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا

“And give the women their dower graciously. But if they remit to you anything of it (on there) own, then eat it (in) satisfaction (and) ease.” (Surah An-Nisa` 4:4)

One of the most important things in a marriage is honesty. Being honest with our spouses makes the household ties closer and stronger; our spouse also trusts us more in everyday life. Otherwise, if we lie to our spouse, even though it’s a ‘little white lie’, it can ruin our relationships and lead to divorce. As Muslims, we know that Allah hates divorce even though it is lawful. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا نَكَحْتُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ثُمَّ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ فَمَا لَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ عِدَّةٍ تَعْتَدُّونَهَا فَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ وَسَرِّحُوهُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا

O you who believe! When you marry believing women and then, divorce them before [that] you have touched then not for you on them any waiting period (to) count concerning them. To provide for them and release them (with) a release good.” (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:49)

When we are in free time (for example, after working hours or at the weekend), we can spend the time together with our spouse. We can do anything that we want such as cleaning the house, cooking or vacationing. The main point of this activity is to make a bond between us tighter and also relax our mind, body, and soul.

Here are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful:

  1. Marriage need respect to be truly happy and successful
  2. Married couples need to spend more time together
  3. Marriage, in contrast, tend to increase a company
  4. Marrying a partner from an affair rarely works out
  5. Marriages tend to be more productive at work
  6. Marriages take work, commitment, and love
  7. Marriage share your thoughts and feelings
  8. Marriage communicate clearly and often
  9. Marriage depends on what they were like
  10. Marriage appreciate each other even more
  11. Marriage sharing your life with another person
  12. Marriage makes people feel more satisfied in life
  13. Marriage recharge, think, and enjoy personal interests
  14. Marriage compromises on problems, you both give a little
  15. Marriage is likely to respond quickly to each other’s wishes

When we start our life in marriage, we should know about our rights and obligations. We must remind our spouses if they were not doing their rights and obligation. If we do the opposite, we must accept the criticism or suggestion. The point is we must remind each other, to reach a sakinah condition. Allah says:

وَبَشِّرِ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ أَنَّ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ كُلَّمَا رُزِقُوا مِنْهَا مِن ثَمَرَةٍ رِّزْقًا قَالُوا هَٰذَا الَّذِي رُزِقْنَا مِن قَبْلُ وَأُتُوا بِهِ مُتَشَابِهًا وَلَهُمْ فِيهَا أَزْوَاجٌ مُّطَهَّرَةٌ وَهُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ

“And give good news (to) those who believe, and do [the] righteous deeds, that for them (will be) Gardens, flow [from] under them the rivers. Every time they are provided therefrom of fruit (as) provision, they (will) say, “This (is) the one which we were provided from before.” And they will be given therefrom (things) in resemblance; And for them therein spouses purified, and they therein (will) abide forever.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:25)

Communication is important to keep our household in harmony. In some cases of divorce, the main problem is miscommunication between two people who married each other. That is why we need to just talk to our spouse, as a form of communication, for strengthening the relationship. Allah says:

قُلْ إِنِّي أُمِرْتُ أَنْ أَعْبُدَ اللَّهَ مُخْلِصًا لَّهُ الدِّينَ

Say, “Indeed, I [I] am commanded that I worship Allah, (being) sincere to Him (in) the religion.” (Surah Az-Zumar 39:11)

The most important thing that is required to keep the relationship healthy and strong is trust. Both husband and wife should trust each other in every regard. This trust should be present in every matter of life, whether it is reaching some decision, protection of property, honour or any kind. When this trust is present between the two, based on it they both can overcome any situation and enjoy a long and healthy relationship. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

“And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (Surah Al-Furqan 25:74)

Marriage and love are connected. In marriage life, we must emerge a sense of respect and tolerance. The goal of this act is not only to help to share the burden with our spouse but also to understand the house chores, which is lots of things to do. To make our marriage is not boring, sometimes we must give our spouse a little bit surprised.